2
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:03,712
MAN [ON COMPUTER]:
Oh, my <i>God...</i>

3
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:09,259
<i>it's full-on double rainbow all
the way across the sky!</i>

4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,637
<i>Whoa!</i>

5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,264
<i>Oh, my God! Oh, my God!</i>

6
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:17,059
<i>Oh! Oh, my God!</i>

7
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,645
<i>Whoo!</i>

8
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,647
<i>What does this mean?</i>

9
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,359
<i>It's so bright.</i>

10
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,778
<i>Oh, my God, it's so bright and vivid.</i>

11
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,572
<i>It's starting to look
like a triple rainbow.</i>

12
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,366
<i>Oh!</i>

13
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,162
<i>Going streaking across the quad!</i>

14
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,873
[MAN LAUGHING]

15
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,838
MAN:
Coochie, coochie, coochie!

16
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,300
[GIRLS LAUGHING]

17
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,637
DAVID:
Yeah. No, I know. Uh-huh.

18
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,306
No, I'm not. I'm not.
No, I'm paying attention.

19
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,101
Mom, I'm listening. Just talk.

20
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,812
<i>- Tyrone.
- Are you going trick-or-treating?</i>

21
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,564
<i>- No, because...
- Pow!</i>

22
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,653
[BUZZES]

23
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,555
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

24
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,724
[BABY SPITS UP]

25
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,852
[BABY CRYING]

26
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,734
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

27
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,922
I'm in the car. I'm literally in the car.

28
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,549
David, hey. David Clark.

29
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:13,842
Rick Nathanson.

30
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,721
- Uh, I'm sorry.
- Little Ricky. We went to college together.

31
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,640
Oh, shit. Hey, dude.

32
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,268
We all took ecstasy at Dave Matthews
one time and I tried to kiss you.

33
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,854
That's right. I remember that. Yeah.

34
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,147
Yeah. "Crash."

35
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,440
Yup.

36
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,568
Wow. I didn't recognize you.
You look very different.

37
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,862
I've gained a little bit of daddy weight.

38
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,489
You know the drill.

39
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,240
Actually, I don't, no.

40
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,994
- No way. No way! Still a free agent.
- Mm.

41
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,373
You son of a bitch!
You lucky son of a bitch.

42
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,502
You lucky, lucky son of a bitch.
Wow, that's amazing. Wow.

43
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:52,089
Here. For old times' sake, huh?

44
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,049
For daddy stress.

45
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,385
You're still dealing weed?

46
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,428
Best in Denver.

47
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,306
That's fucking awesome. Oh, my God.

48
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,433
That is so cool.

49
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,352
- You're still at it.
- Yeah.

50
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,646
- I envy you, man. I do.
- Ah.

51
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,524
Look at you. No wife, no kids.

52
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,067
- No responsibilities.
- Mm-hm.

53
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,569
Pfft, nothing. You got nothing.

54
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,155
You could disappear tomorrow
and who'd even know?

55
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,908
- Oh, what I wouldn't give.
- Yeah.

56
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,369
Oh, hey, I didn't mean
that in like, I mean...

57
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,205
No. It's all right. It doesn't bother me.
It's all right.

58
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,582
- Great seeing you.
- Great seeing you.

59
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,376
Okay, bud, I believe in you.

60
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,420
- Hey, David?
- Yeah?

61
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,256
- Facebook me. We'll get weird.
- I don't think so.

62
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,259
- Ha, ha! Get out of here.
- Good luck with the family.

63
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,927
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

64
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,804
Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Fuck.
Hey, great news.

65
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,931
We're gonna get high and fuck tonight.

66
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,392
I'm sorry, honey.
Put Mommy on the phone, okay?

67
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,645
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

68
00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:00,449
[NATALIA KILLS' "PROBLEM"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

69
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:04,327
<i>I'm-a take my skirt, boot, rings
All off</i>

70
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:07,873
<i>Skirt, boots, rings All off</i>

71
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,126
<i>Ooh, baby, you so bad, boy
Drive me mad, boy</i>

72
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,420
<i>You don't care what they
Say about</i> me

73
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:17,382
<i>Girl is a problem
Girl is a problem, problem</i>

74
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,808
Wow.

75
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,728
- You dance super good.
- Thanks.

76
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,980
I'm Kymberly. With a Y.

77
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,231
[CHUCKLES]

78
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,525
I'm Rose. With an R.

79
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,819
Is that your stage name?

80
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,863
- My what?
- Your stage name.

81
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:43,325
To protect yourself from the creeps
out there. You should pick one.

82
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:48,413
You know, something simple but sexy
and cute and short, maybe.

83
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,082
- Do you have a nickname?
- Totally!

84
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,501
Great. Use that, because...

85
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,628
I even got a tattoo of it.
Do you wanna see?

86
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:55,921
Uh, well, n...

87
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,339
KYMBERLY:
Check it out.

88
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:01,092
ROSE:
"Boner Garage." Oh, whoa.

89
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,053
You got a little arrow there even.

90
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,013
Is that not like the hottest?

91
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,224
Boner Garage, you're up.

92
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:11,561
Oh, look at that. So excited and
full of life. That'll fade.

93
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:16,650
Hey, Rose. I know you're "technically" on
break, but I need a lap dance. Table five.

94
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,694
Just don't get too close.
The guy has two hook hands.

95
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:20,946
[SIGHS]

96
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,739
How did we let that guy back in here?

97
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,408
Must have picked the locks. Ha, ha!

98
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,499
[SIGHS]

99
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,896
How was work this evening?

100
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,189
ROSE:
What do you care?

101
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,524
I'm just asking.

102
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,942
ROSE:
Oh, just don't.

103
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,194
Fine. Well, is your dummy boyfriend around?

104
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,738
No. Jimmy's with his parents. Why?

105
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:06,783
Well, because Jimmy still owes me
400 bucks, so...

106
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,452
Maybe you shouldn't loan drugs
to people.

107
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,372
- All right. Good tip.
- Mm-hm.

108
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,459
I was thinking is that maybe you
could help him out, settle his debt.

109
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,755
- Not a fucking chance.
- You'd be doing me a solid, neighbor.

110
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,383
Oh, really? Neighbor?
You're not a neighbor.

111
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,595
You're a drug dealer whose apartment
smells like cheese and feet.

112
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,681
Mm. Yeah, it's a candle
I got from Anthropologie.

113
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,767
Cheesy Feet. That's what they call it.
It's a bestseller.

114
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,730
Oh, Rose, got a piece of your mail here.

115
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:40,775
I'd lend you some money,
but we're not neighbors.

116
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,193
Oh, you're such a dick!

117
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,113
Have fun dying alone, jerk.

118
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,657
Have fun digging out the singles
from your crotch.

119
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,618
ROSE:
My crotch only takes 20s, David.

120
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,373
Hey, David.

121
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,585
- Hi, Kenny.
- I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting.

122
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,838
It's called flirting, Kenny.
You'll learn about it in college.

123
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,050
What are you doing up?
It's almost 2. Where's your mom?

124
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:09,220
- Uh, she went for a drink. With a friend.
- When?

125
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,264
Last week.

126
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,808
Uh, so I got the whole place to myself.

127
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,728
Yeah. Rolling Han Solo
for the weekend.

128
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,897
DAVID:
Mm-hm.

129
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,942
Um, speaking of rolling,
I was wondering if...

130
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,612
- I don't sell to kids, Kenny.
- I'm 18. I'm gonna get my own place soon.

131
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:26,863
Not a kid, David.

132
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,033
Yeah, you are. Take care.

133
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,827
CASEY:
Give me my fucking phone.

134
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,956
- You guys are such assholes.
MAN 1: Hey, baby.

135
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,415
Leave her alone.

136
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,424
MAN 1: Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
KENNY: Unhand her.

137
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,003
Hey, leave her alone.

138
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,588
[GRUNTS]

139
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,715
Goddamn it, Kenny.

140
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,964
- Fucking tough guy Huh?
MAN 2: You don't have to...

141
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,219
DAVID:
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.

142
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,721
Easy, easy. What's going on here?

143
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:55,976
- Mind your fucking business, old man.
- Oh, my God. You're a dude. Ha, ha!

144
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,562
That scared me. Your voice was so much
deeper than your bone structure.

145
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,773
These assholes are trying
to steal my iPhone.

146
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,025
You have an iPhone?
Aren't you homeless?

147
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,069
So? Fuck you, dude.

148
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,030
Okay, this was fun. Carry on.

149
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,865
- Come on, let's go.
- What? No.

150
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,326
These guys are picking on her
and it's not fair.

151
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,954
What you gonna do, white boy?
You some type of hero?

152
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,622
Not a hero. He's a dumb kid.

153
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,710
I got an idea. Leave the girl alone.
Just move along. Huh, what do you say?

154
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,086
- "Move along"?
DAVID: Yeah.

155
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,756
- What are you, some kind of cop?
- He's not a cop. He's actually really cool.

156
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,216
- Thanks.
- He's a drug dealer.

157
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,552
- Really?
- Goddamn it, Kenny.

158
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,886
Give me your backpack.

159
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,179
I don't wanna fight.

160
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:36,850
Well, there's not gonna be a fight.
See, you either give me the backpack...

161
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,561
or I'm gonna stab you in the neck
and take it.

162
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,937
[WHISTLES]

163
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,773
It's a real Sophie's choice here, huh?
All right.

164
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,275
Okay, backpack it is.

165
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,568
If you wa...

166
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,155
Run, Kenny!

167
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,575
MAN 1:
You're dead meat!

168
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:02,333
Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone.
Are we still going out tonight or what?

169
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,712
Fucking shit! Shit!

170
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,214
[MAN <i>2</i> LAUGHS]

171
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,883
Oh, shit.

172
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,975
Sorry. This is fucking dumb.

173
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,897
[GROANS]

174
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,151
MAN 1:
Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker.

175
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,988
- We got you now.
- Unh!

176
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,283
MAN 1: Do whatever's in the safe too.
MAN 2: Look at that.

177
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,328
DAVID: It's not even my money.
If you take that my boss will kill me.

178
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,373
KENNY: You okay, David?
I can help. I'll call the cops.

179
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,000
No, I'm okay.

180
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,922
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]

181
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:00,850
DAVID:
Hey!

182
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,269
Whoa, what the...! Unh!

183
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,480
MAN: When Mr. Brad calls, you answer!
Get in there!

184
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,534
DAVID: Please don't tell me
where we're going. I love surprises.

185
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,370
- All right. Okay.
- Can I help you?

186
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,664
DAVID:
Hi. You ordered two black guys.

187
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,833
Oh. Okay. This guy.

188
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,377
No. David Clark here
to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please?

189
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,921
I'll tell him you're here.
Can I get you something?

190
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,923
Coffee. Tea. Fresca.

191
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,174
DAVID:
Hmm.

192
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,802
You know what,
a Fresca sounds really good.

193
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,370
- You got it.
DAVID: Appreciate it.

194
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,973
Hold on one second.
You guys want anything? It's on me.

195
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,307
Replenishes electrolytes.

196
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:44,185
Don't want you cramping up
when you jerk each other off.

197
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:45,478
Nice meeting you.

198
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,316
Easy.

199
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,360
Easy. Oof!

200
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,863
Okay. I'm gonna hang out here
if that's all right.

201
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,115
Oh, thank you for that.
That's very helpful.

202
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,076
Oh! David Clark.

203
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:03,246
You're a hard man to find.
Take it easy on the plastic.

204
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,748
Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this?

205
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,127
Look, man, I was gonna call you back.
Do not kill me.

206
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,455
- I got robbed, okay. I swear.
BRAD: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

207
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,755
What are you...? What...?

208
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,007
Oh, the plastic?

209
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,425
Yeah, the plastic.

210
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,676
<i>I've</i> seen <i>Dexter.</i>

211
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:21,472
Buddy, I'm putting in a new skylight,
you idiot. Ha, ha.

212
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,059
You should have seen your face just now.
You shit a brick.

213
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,353
Well, what am I supposed to think, man?

214
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,356
You've got these thugs throwing a bag
over my head. Come on.

215
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:33,109
I'm sorry about that.
I didn't mean to freak you out.

216
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,321
- It's fine.
- You do know I've killed people though?

217
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,072
Yeah, Brad, I know.

218
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,490
Ha-ha. All right, have a seat.

219
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,619
DAVID:
Whoa, what the fuck is that?

220
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:46,080
What? Oh, my orca?
Yeah, I bought an orca.

221
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,498
[SIGHS]

222
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,334
I make a lot of money.

223
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:51,961
DAVID:
So you bought a whale?

224
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,671
Well, I don't like sports cars.

225
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,341
- Yeah, yeah.
- So where's my money, David?

226
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,177
Come on, man. We go back.

227
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,346
We do go back.
But it's not college anymore.

228
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,598
We're not selling lids out of my dorm room.

229
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,351
And you owe me $43,000.

230
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,562
I told you, I got robbed, Brad.
They took everything I had, man.

231
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,857
This week's drop, <i>22</i> grand
of my money that I'd saved. I'm fucked.

232
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:18,154
Listen, this is a fucked-up situation.
But I might have a win-win for both of us.

233
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,449
- Great.
- I have a smidge of very choice...

234
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,326
Mari-ju-ana down in Mexico...

235
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,411
and I need it here by Sunday night.

236
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,456
My regular courier is out
because he got gunned down.

237
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,916
That's where you come in.

238
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,710
You could be my mule.
I need someone I can trust.

239
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,506
Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday
night, not only will I forgive your debt...

240
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:41,094
I will pay you
a standard courier fee of $100,000.

241
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:44,347
You're gonna give me 100 grand to move
a smidge across the border?

242
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,433
Smidge and a half. It's nothing.

243
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:50,645
Dude, I got rolled
by the fucking cast of <i>Annie.</i>

244
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:54,399
I come walking in here and you ask me
to be an international drug dealer.

245
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,860
This is easy money, David.
All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico...

246
00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,531
go to this address, tell them you're
there to pick up for Pablo Chacon.

247
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,825
- Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon?
- I am.

248
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,869
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH THEN CHUCKLES]

249
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:10,748
You don't get respect from Mexicans
when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?

250
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:15,503
I mean, that's white in any language.
See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything.

251
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:22,093
I don't know. I don't think so, man.
This is way out of my league.

252
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,678
It's a federal crime.

253
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:27,807
If I try to cross the border with more
than a pound, you're talking like, um...

254
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,020
Twenty-five years in Mexican prison.
If you get a happy judge.

255
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,230
Yeah. Jeez. Not good.

256
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,941
- Although, you're forgetting one thing.
- What?

257
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,527
You don't have a fucking choice.

258
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,450
KENNY: So now you're gonna become
an even bigger drug dealer?

259
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,994
Drug smuggler, Kenny.
There's a difference.

260
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,000
You're probably gonna get
searched at the border.

261
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,711
No offense, you look like
a total drug dealer.

262
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,589
- No shit. Thanks, dude.
- You could wear a disguise.

263
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,591
- What?
- A disguise.

264
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,468
That's what I thought. A disguise.

265
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,679
I dress up. What's the hot
Halloween outfit these days?

266
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:09,599
Bane from Batman? Someone like that?
Wear something over my face?

267
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,568
[AS BANE] There's no drugs in here.
You've got nothing to worry about.

268
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,895
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Great idea.

269
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,521
[HORN HONKING]

270
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,316
Hey, pardon me. Hi.

271
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:23,154
Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get the
fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck.

272
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,906
Fuck off, real-life Flanders.

273
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:30,244
It's my fault. When it comes to reading
maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet.

274
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,746
[WOMAN CHUCKLES]

275
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,706
Hey. No parking here, sir.

276
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,416
Perfect. Fucking tourists.

277
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,044
Oh, jeez. I'm awful sorry, officer.

278
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,171
I don't know which way is up around here.

279
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,007
No problem.
Our city can get confusing sometimes.

280
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,759
MAN:
Trying to find our way to the zoo.

281
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:48,805
It's two blocks up that way,
take a left, two blocks...

282
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:55,853
Holy fucking shit.

283
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,190
Thank you, dickheads.

284
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,444
[OVER <i>SPEAKERS]
Hey little lady, don't you say maybe</i>

285
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,531
Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you
by name.

286
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,116
Treat him nice.

287
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,576
<i>Baby, I�m a show you how to</i>

288
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:11,869
MAN:
Yeah!

289
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,955
Hi. I'm Rose.

290
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,708
- Hi. Hi.
- What...? Oh, please. No.

291
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,961
- No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose.
- No, no, no, no.

292
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,505
- Please. Listen to me.
- Duh, duh, duh, duh.

293
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,632
Ch-ch-ch-chuh.

294
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,303
You asshole.

295
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,391
Don't worry. You don't have
to get naked and all that stuff.

296
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,936
- Unless you want to, you know. Oof!
- Mm-hm.

297
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,396
- Fuck.
- What do you want'?

298
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,526
How would you like to spend 4th of July
weekend making 10 grand?

299
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:44,819
- What?
- Rose, listen.

300
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,738
All I'm asking is that you
go to Mexico with me.

301
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,117
All right? And then we drive home together
in an RV.

302
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,410
ROSE:
Mm-hm.

303
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,079
- And that RV has some pot in it.
- Drug dealing?

304
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,040
No, it's not drug dealing. It's not.
No, it's smuggling.

305
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,418
- Are you out of your mind?
- Rose, listen to me.

306
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:05,339
Now, me crossing the border by myself,
huge red flag. Huge, all right?

307
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,633
But families,
they don't get a second look.

308
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,720
So, Rose, I need you to be my wife.

309
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,890
That is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

310
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,643
Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks,
and your flight's already paid for.

311
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,187
You can't buy me.

312
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,356
I'm not buying you, all right?
I'm renting you.

313
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,608
ROSE:
Hmm.

314
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:24,984
<i>Like Pretty Woman.</i>

315
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,029
<i>Pretty Woman?
She was</i> a <i>prostitute.</i>

316
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,906
And I don't trust you.

317
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,163
- What did she say?
- What the fuck do you think? She said no.

318
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:41,334
Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. A little
father and son bonding trip to Mexico.

319
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,463
Are you kidding? You and me alone in a van?
It'll look like the pervert Olympics.

320
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,882
No way. Absolutely not.
No, we need a girl.

321
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,677
And unless you can think of someone
that can leave town tomorrow, I'm fucked.

322
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,472
I know a girl.

323
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,269
I don't get it. What's in it for me?

324
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:04,690
I'm thinking a roof over your head, some
actual hot food. That'd be good enough.

325
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,150
I'm thinking 1000.

326
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,695
Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it.

327
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:14,116
Great. And if we get caught I'll say you
drugged and kidnapped me. Cool?

328
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,246
Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine.
But that's it.

329
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,790
Kenny, meet your new sister.

330
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,793
This is great. I've always wanted a sister.

331
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,465
- Get it off me. Get it off! Get off!
- Hey, come on. Let go.

332
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,385
- Come on. We gotta clean you up.
- What's wrong with you?

333
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,304
- Don't say that.
- I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable.

334
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:36,639
[OVER SPEAKERS]
<i>Wild child</i>

335
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,391
MAN:
Boner Garage!

336
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,143
<i>Going all out Going for broke</i>

337
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,606
Oh, great. Rose, I'm glad I caught you.

338
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,026
I wanted to go over a couple
of minor policy changes...

339
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,029
- that we have here at the club.
- Like what?

340
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,575
TODD: Like, I want you to start having sex
with the customers for money.

341
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,579
What? That's totally illegal, Todd.

342
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,289
Come on, what are you gonna do?

343
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:06,085
I gotta stay competitive with those
fuckers who opened up across the street.

344
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,712
You mean the Apple Store?

345
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,380
Yeah, and they're killing us.

346
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,798
Oh, God.

347
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,968
That's it. I can't do it. I quit.

348
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,886
Did you hear the good news?

349
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,347
Now we get to fuck the customers
for money.

350
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,058
- Wha...?
- Boner Garage loves it.

351
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:25,354
I'm out of here. I am out of here.
I quit.

352
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,699
Fuck.

353
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,367
Fuck.

354
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,329
[SIGHS]

355
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,875
[GROANS]

356
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,560
So, Casey, I guess it's nice for you
to get your hair out.

357
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,270
Being homeless and all...

358
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,107
I'm not homeless, fuck tard. I have a home.
But I left because my parent...

359
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:14,570
Shut up, okay? Please. I don't need to
hear your hard-luck back story right now.

360
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:19,367
I rented Precious on Netflix eight months
ago and I still haven't watched the thing.

361
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,660
Here. You know what?

362
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:24,205
Just give me a little peace and quiet
and buy yourself some new clothes.

363
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,708
You know, the kind of stuff that loved
children wear. Not this garbage.

364
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,460
All right? Thank you.

365
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,836
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.

366
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,590
You're fine.
You already like a total dipshit.

367
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,928
Here. You're gonna need it.
You look like Eminem from <i>8 Mile.</i>

368
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,179
[CHUCKLES]

369
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,515
Go with her.
Make sure she doesn't steal it.

370
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,600
And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic.

371
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,394
WOMAN:
David Clark?

372
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,397
Okay, what are we doing today?

373
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,566
Yeah, I say,
give me something that says:

374
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:56,946
"I get up every morning at 5:30 and
commute for an hour to a bullshit job..."

375
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,740
where my boss expects me
to kiss his balls all day...

376
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,953
so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids
decked out in Dora the Explorer shit...

377
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,321
and my wife up to her fat ass
in self-help videos...

378
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,291
"until the day I get the courage
to put a shotgun in my mouth."

379
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,918
[MAN CLEARS THROAT]

380
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,003
Right here.

381
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,840
Yeah. That's it. That's the one.

382
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,205
All right.

383
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,218
Get a full body check.

384
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,599
[BEEPS]

385
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,603
[BEEPS]

386
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,906
Sorry.

387
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,784
Hi, you folks have everything you need?

388
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,411
Oh, you betcha!

389
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:31,665
Yeah, we're heading out on a family vacay
here, you know? Off to see grandma, huh?

390
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,001
Well, you have a lovely family.

391
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,505
Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, this
is my son, Kenny Miller, right here.

392
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,049
- And my lovely daughter...
- Casey?

393
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:43,344
Casey. Casey Miller, that's right.
And I'm David Miller.

394
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:44,595
We're the Millers.

395
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:48,641
Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands
full here. Couple of kooky teenagers.

396
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:52,645
Yeah, I'm going through all those
typical teenage girl issues like:

397
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,481
Finals and college applications...

398
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:57,983
and am I gonna get asked to prom.

399
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,694
Plus, I haven't gotten my period in
two months...

400
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,906
which is really weird because
I've mostly just been doing anal.

401
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:05,366
[KENNY COUGHS]

402
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:08,494
Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that's enough.

403
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:12,706
Well, thank you for your help, "Natalie."

404
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,251
Take your seats, please.

405
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,629
You fucking kidding me?

406
00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,798
ROSE: I'm good. I got it.
Right over here. Thanks.

407
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,925
Thank you. Sorry.

408
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:27,555
- Honey! Hi! You made it!
- Mm-hm. Eat a dick.

409
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,265
- Sorry, sorry. Okay.
- Mm-mm.

410
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:32,768
- Wow, you look really, like...
- Don't. Just don't, all right?

411
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:34,186
Hi, Mom.

412
00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:35,563
- Jesus.
DAVID: Mm-hm.

413
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,731
And who's that?

414
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:40,734
Well, that's your daughter. Casey.

415
00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:42,278
(H9)'-

416
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:43,779
ROSE:
Mm-hm.

417
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,281
I want 30,000 now.

418
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:48,117
- No fucking way.
- Okay. Have a safe flight.

419
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:52,288
What? No. Okay. Fine!
Fine. Bloodsucker.

420
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:56,417
Mm. All right, happy wife,
happy life. Hi, kids!

421
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,920
- Make room for your mother.
- Okay.

422
00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,341
- Hey!
- Whoa! No, I didn't...!

423
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,511
What the fuck? Don't you ever think
that you can ever...

424
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,014
Family meeting. Let's go.
Get in the back. Go.

425
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,932
KENNY: I didn't mean to.
- I don't care.

426
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:16,186
CASEY: He just hit me in the fucking face.
- Will you march? No one wants to hear...

427
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,816
[WHISPERING]
What the fuck?! Are you kidding me?

428
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,444
Oh, come on, relax, Dorothy. Jesus.

429
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:26,196
We're not at the border.
Who cares what they think?

430
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:29,325
It's about not drawing attention
to ourselves, you little hobo.

431
00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,827
Hey! Don't talk to her like that.

432
00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:35,116
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Rose, relax, okay?
The only thing you need to worry about...

433
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,958
is making them think you could
be someone's mother. Okay?

434
00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:40,544
Are you kidding me?
I can do this shit in my sleep.

435
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,087
Excuse me.

436
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:47,801
Lord, we thank thee for the blessing
of this family vacation.

437
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:50,554
May David find his bliss
and bring us home back safely.

438
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:53,891
May Kenny and Casey fortify
their sibling bond...

439
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:57,186
over the warm glow
of our devoted hearts.

440
00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:01,231
And may this entire airplane
find safe passage...

441
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,484
and a bountiful life.

442
00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:05,361
Even the Jews.

443
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:08,197
- Amen.
DAVID: That was a good one.

444
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:09,865
That was beautiful.

445
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,368
- Oh.
- I wish my family was more like that.

446
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,244
ROSE:
Oh, stop. Don't.

447
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,873
No, no, no. Come on. Come in here.
Hug it out. Don't you cry.

448
00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,208
Aw, honey.

449
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,543
<i>[MOUTHS]
Fuck you.</i>

450
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:23,587
All better now? Okay.

451
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:27,925
Oh, and don't forget you can use Chex Mix
as a surprise casserole topping.

452
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:29,927
Adds that real special crunch.

453
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,012
- Wow, what a great tip.
- Sure!

454
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:33,347
Bye-bye.

455
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:36,266
Holy shit, where did that come from?

456
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:39,311
It's five summers with my Aunt Barb
in Oklahoma.

457
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:40,604
That was amazing.

458
00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,564
Calm down. It wasn't that great.

459
00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:46,318
Ah, god-damn it. Brad said the RV was
supposed to be out here waiting for us.

460
00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:48,529
Anybody sees a camper, just let me know.

461
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,197
Whoa.

462
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,876
What the fuck is this?

463
00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,211
This thing is ridiculous.

464
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,921
[ENGINE STARTS]

465
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,756
- Can you drive this?
- I don't know.

466
00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:09,341
How fast does it go?

467
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:44,042
Why the hell are you reading that thing?

468
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,881
Because I like it. It's fun.

469
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,382
It's informative.

470
00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:52,509
"It's fun." That's your idea of fun, huh?

471
00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:55,345
I have a VCR manual from the '90s
you should check out.

472
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:58,307
- I think you'd probably enjoy that.
- Fireworks!

473
00:25:58,515 --> 00:26:00,058
Oh, my GOG, guys, look!

474
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,853
Fireworks! Hey! Fireworks!
Pull over! There's fireworks!

475
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,688
We're not pulling over for fireworks.

476
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,274
- Oh, oh, stern.
- What? It's Fourth of July weekend.

477
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:09,443
Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Pull over!

478
00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:10,903
No. Absolutely not.

479
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,780
Oh, come on, I vote fireworks too.

480
00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:15,949
See? Even this loser wants fireworks.
Fireworks!

481
00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:18,494
- Fireworks! Fireworks!
- The kids wanna see fireworks.

482
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:20,542
CASEY and KENNY:
Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks!

483
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:21,830
Okay, enough!

484
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:28,754
Enough!
Let's get something straight right now!

485
00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,881
You are not my kids! Okay?

486
00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:33,634
You are not my wife!
And we are not a family!

487
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:35,260
All right? This is a job!

488
00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:37,012
We are not the Brady Bunch!

489
00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:39,932
I'm Marky Mark
and y'all are the Funky Bunch!

490
00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:43,519
- The what?
- I'm the boss. You hear me?

491
00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:48,649
So cut the shit! Otherwise, I will turn
this RV around immediately!

492
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:52,486
And we will drive straight home.
No drugs for anyone!

493
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,029
This vacation sucks.

494
00:26:54,238 --> 00:26:55,614
You...

495
00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,658
It is not a vacation!

496
00:26:57,866 --> 00:26:59,034
[ROSE LAUGHS]

497
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:05,457
[FIREWORK POPS]

498
00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:07,584
There we go. You fucking happy? Come on.

499
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:21,181
DAVID: Here we go. Everybody
just be cool. All right?

500
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,475
Hey there!

501
00:27:23,684 --> 00:27:26,937
You got the Miller family here,
reporting for leisure, sir.

502
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:29,398
We're just heading down
to <i>Mexico</i> way to do a...

503
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:35,863
Oh. Okay. Great. Fantastic. All right,
thank you. Take care, now. All right.

504
00:27:36,947 --> 00:27:41,493
Whoo! Did you see that? I told you
this RV would work! We totally blend.

505
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,413
ROSE: Congratulations. You
just snuck into Mexico.

506
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:51,503
CASEY:
What is this?

507
00:27:51,712 --> 00:27:53,380
- A meth lab?
DAVID: It's Mexico, Casey.

508
00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:55,340
ROSE:
That's a donkey, donkey, donkey.

509
00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:59,094
- This RV blends right in, David.
DAVID: Will you calm down?

510
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,389
ROSE: This thing is ginormous.
I mean, it's ridiculous.

511
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,389
NAVIGATION <i>VOICE:
You have arrived at your destination.</i>

512
00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:13,483
<i>The route guidance is now finished.</i>

513
00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,694
Are you sure these guys are expecting you?

514
00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:17,613
Rose, we're good. All right?

515
00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:21,158
Now will you calm down? These are
Brad's guys. Nothing to worry about.

516
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:22,951
Open Sesame. Here we go.

517
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:24,703
Hey!

518
00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,414
Hey, I think that guy was in La Bamba.

519
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:31,126
Is that a little football over there?
That's fun. Soccer.

520
00:28:31,335 --> 00:28:32,836
Kids are a good sign, I guess.

521
00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:40,636
- Hey there.
- What is this place?

522
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:43,972
DAVID: Will you look at this?
It's a cute little drug-dealing community.

523
00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:45,807
They probably sell churros.

524
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,477
Will you relax?

525
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:50,854
It's fine. We're totally fine.

526
00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:55,233
I'll run in, pick up a duffel bag, a suitcase
or something and we'll be on our way.

527
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:58,987
Hi. Now come on.
See, it's the welcome wagon.

528
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,447
Let me go talk to this guy.

529
00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:05,118
Hola. Hola, big man, <i>me llamo</i> David.

530
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:07,621
Yeah, I'm here to pick
up for Brad Gurdlinger.

531
00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:10,832
- Oh.
- He's got a gun.

532
00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:13,251
ROSE: Oh, God.
- Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey!

533
00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:16,922
- Oh, God.
DAVID: Palo Hacon! Palo Hacon!

534
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:18,465
Pablo Chacon?

535
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:20,676
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

536
00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:23,387
Pablo Chacon. I'm here to pick up
for Pablo Chacon.

537
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,931
You are the White Gringo
with the haircut of a donkey.

538
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,933
Uh, yeah. Si.

539
00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:31,728
Yeah. Yeah, mucho white-o.
Very, very gringo. Yeah.

540
00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:35,774
- Who are they?
- Um, that's my "family."

541
00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:38,151
<i>You know, uh, mi familia.</i>

542
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,405
You know, helping me out here
with the deal. Yeah.

543
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,615
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

544
00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:45,200
Yeah.

545
00:29:45,409 --> 00:29:47,828
Yeah. I know, I can't believe it either.

546
00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:49,116
[ONE-EYE SHOUTS IN SPANISH]

547
00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:50,927
<i>[MOUTHS]
Do you see his eye? Jesus Christ.</i>

548
00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:52,749
[LAUGHING]

549
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:54,668
Come! Drugs now.

550
00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:56,670
DAVID: Okay, great.
- What?

551
00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,505
DAVID:
That's great. Let's do it. Okay.

552
00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:03,593
All right, big fella, where's the smidge
of weed everyone's talking about?

553
00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:10,934
[MEN CHATTERING]

554
00:30:15,313 --> 00:30:18,066
- This is a little more than a smidge.
- Oh, dear.

555
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:19,943
Calm down. Okay?
We're gonna be fine.

556
00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:21,570
Oh, yeah, sure, right.

557
00:30:21,778 --> 00:30:24,698
All we're doing is smuggling
two metric tons of marijuana...

558
00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:28,201
across an international border
in a rented motor home!

559
00:30:28,702 --> 00:30:31,455
I don't see what could possibly go wrong!
Ugh!

560
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,834
Okay, uh, I'm gonna
make a phone call real quick.

561
00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:38,587
Kenny, watch the pot.

562
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:45,927
It's a great place.

563
00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:47,846
Fuck you.

564
00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:51,058
[SAW WHIRRING]

565
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:53,602
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

566
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,442
<i>"BRAD".
Hey. Buddy.</i>

567
00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:04,237
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
I'm like an amazing sculptor.

568
00:31:04,404 --> 00:31:06,990
<i>- What are you talking about?
- I've been working all day.</i>

569
00:31:07,157 --> 00:31:11,620
It's an orca and he's breaching
and I'm balls deep in his blow hole.

570
00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:12,829
<i>What the fuck?</i>

571
00:31:13,038 --> 00:31:14,081
<i>Uh-oh, something wrong?</i>

572
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:16,875
Yeah! Something's wrong.
Something's very, very wrong. Okay?

573
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,376
You said "a smidge of pot."

574
00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,128
<i>This is not a smidge.</i>

575
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,755
- Smidge and a half? No?
- No.

576
00:31:21,922 --> 00:31:25,133
You got me moving enough weed
to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man!

577
00:31:26,176 --> 00:31:30,305
Okay? They're using a god-damn bucket
brigade to put it on the RV as we speak!

578
00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:34,184
You walked in, told them you were picking
up for Pablo Chacon and they were like:

579
00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:36,144
<i>- "No problem!"
- Wait</i> a <i>minute.</i>

580
00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:39,397
Why do you sound surprised?
You told them we were coming, right?

581
00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:40,607
<i>Relax!</i>

582
00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:44,820
Everything's gonna be fine, man. I greased
the guard in lane one at the border.

583
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:47,739
He'll let you breeze through,
I'll see you in the morning!

584
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,241
<i>I'll even buy you brunch.</i>

585
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:51,284
<i>Can I change the subject for a second?</i>

586
00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:53,286
If you get back and see the sculpture...

587
00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:56,581
you're gonna look at it and be like,
"Whoa, those balls are huge."

588
00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:59,459
The balls are the only part
that are not anatomically correct.

589
00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:01,128
Everything else is perfect.

590
00:32:01,294 --> 00:32:05,423
But I made the balls a little larger
as a tribute to my manhood.

591
00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:06,758
Fuck you, Brad.

592
00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,885
<i>That's the David I love!</i>

593
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:11,596
Fuck you too! Come on, let's do this!

594
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:13,603
<i>Ha, ha! I'll see you soon,
my little drug mule!</i>

595
00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:15,225
<i>Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw...</i>

596
00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:16,560
[PHONE BEEPS OFF]

597
00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:17,727
Shit!

598
00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:22,190
[WOMAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

599
00:32:22,399 --> 00:32:24,734
Oh, no. Thank you. I'm good.

600
00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:27,821
You reject my mother's gift?

601
00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:31,908
I mean, I don't know
whether I'd put it in those terms.

602
00:32:32,117 --> 00:32:34,119
- Shut up and take the fruit.
- Right. Got it.

603
00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:35,453
Thank you, ma'am.

604
00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:37,497
- [WHISPERS] You wanna get us killed?
- What?

605
00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:39,416
Namaste.

606
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:48,884
CASEY:
Whoa.

607
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:51,261
I think Snoop Dogg would fuck this fridge.

608
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,846
At least it keeps it fresh.

609
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:57,434
Well, as long as no one sets foot
inside the RV...

610
00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:00,478
looks through a window,
or weighs us...

611
00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:04,149
- we should be pretty good.
- We'll be fine.

612
00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:06,234
We're totally fucked.

613
00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,654
[ONE-EYE SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

614
00:33:19,873 --> 00:33:22,334
[SIREN WHOOPS]

615
00:33:23,627 --> 00:33:25,378
DAVID:
Aw, shit. What the hell is this?

616
00:33:25,587 --> 00:33:28,089
ROSE: What's it look like? It's
a cop, genius. DAVID: Be cool.

617
00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:31,885
- Remember we're the Millers. Okay.
- Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool.

618
00:33:33,136 --> 00:33:35,472
- Oh. <i>Buenos Dias, officer.
- Hola.</i>

619
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,433
I'm sorry if we were violating
some of your traffic laws.

620
00:33:38,642 --> 00:33:41,895
You see, the family and I got into
a heated game of road bingo and...

621
00:33:42,103 --> 00:33:44,105
- Cut the shit.
- I'm sorry?

622
00:33:44,314 --> 00:33:46,858
I saw you leaving
Pablo Chacon's compound.

623
00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:50,070
And we both know if I search
your mobile home, what I'd find.

624
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:52,280
Much prison time for such things.

625
00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:53,782
Yeah. Yeah.

626
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,242
But I don't feel like arresting anybody...

627
00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:59,746
so I'll just simply take my bribe
and I'll be on my way.

628
00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:04,084
Well, all right. Ha, ha.

629
00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:07,754
This is what I'm talking about.
Great! How much we talking? 100? 200?

630
00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:10,215
- One thousand.
- A thousand?

631
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,134
- Mm-hm.
- What, are you buying a house down here?

632
00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:17,931
It's a lot. Um, we don't have
that sort of cash on us right now.

633
00:34:18,139 --> 00:34:19,391
[GROANS]

634
00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,018
You see, that's gonna be a problem.

635
00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:23,353
Yeah, yeah.

636
00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:26,940
Maybe you can offer me
something else. Say, uh...

637
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:30,318
something a little more personal?

638
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,406
- Oh.
- Oh.

639
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:38,118
I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick.

640
00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:41,454
Fuck you, I'm not sucking anything.

641
00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,415
Come on. Will you be a team player?

642
00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:46,251
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Will you stop being selfish?

643
00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:48,753
Please, please, sefiora.
No need to be alarmed.

644
00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:54,259
See, I'm, how you say, a man who
prefers the company of other men.

645
00:34:55,010 --> 00:34:56,886
- Oh.
- Oh.

646
00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:00,724
- David, suck his dick.
- Rose.

647
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,435
Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls.

648
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,020
Mm.

649
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:08,231
Come on, David. Be a team player.
You're gonna have fun.

650
00:35:09,983 --> 00:35:11,651
Um...

651
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,030
Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy.

652
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,865
Uh...

653
00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:18,324
KENNY:
Okay, so what's the plan?

654
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:21,327
Go up there and pretend to
and then you're gonna jump him?

655
00:35:21,536 --> 00:35:22,787
The plan is, um...

656
00:35:22,996 --> 00:35:24,247
Here. Come here, come here.

657
00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:27,667
Okay, urn, let's see.
You, you're this bottle cap.

658
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:30,670
Right? And I am this cigarette butt.

659
00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:34,591
Okay, that's us. All right? Okay?
He's over there, right by this, that bush.

660
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:36,009
We'll make him the pebble.

661
00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:39,888
You will go and meet him behind
the bush right over there.

662
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:42,140
You suck his dick,
and we get outta here.

663
00:35:42,348 --> 00:35:44,851
- Okay? Bring it in, on three.
- What?! No!

664
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,728
What do you mean no? What's wrong?

665
00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:49,606
- Well, I'm not gay.
- Are you sure?

666
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:52,692
I mean, you never really know
until you know.

667
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:55,278
- No. I'm not gay.
- Okay. All right. Calm down.

668
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:59,491
Look, this gay panic situation you're having
now, it's coming off a little homophobic.

669
00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,410
What, because I don't want
a penis in my mouth?

670
00:36:02,619 --> 00:36:05,038
Exactly. It's exactly
what homophobic means.

671
00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:08,833
Look, you go over there, you just,
you know, you pretend it's a girl's dick.

672
00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:10,585
Any girl's dick you want.

673
00:36:10,794 --> 00:36:13,546
KENNY: I'm not sure I agree with
that logic. Look, listen to me.

674
00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:17,175
- What is he saying to him?
- I have no idea.

675
00:36:17,383 --> 00:36:19,385
All right? Just listen to me. All right?

676
00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:20,720
Come on, man.

677
00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:23,306
This is your chance to be the hero.

678
00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:26,851
- I don't know, David.
DAVID: Don't do it for me.

679
00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:30,438
Don't even do it for you.
Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey.

680
00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:33,691
Because, believe me, they won't last
two days in a Mexican prison.

681
00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:37,821
- Okay.
- Attaboy!

682
00:36:39,072 --> 00:36:41,116
<i>- I'll</i> do it for the girls.
- I'm proud of you.

683
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,077
Hey. What's going on?

684
00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:46,830
Somebody sucking my dick,
or am I getting 1000 pesos?

685
00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,581
No, he's gonna W...

686
00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:51,793
- "Pesos"? Why didn't you say so?
- Mm-hm. A thousand.

687
00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:55,088
Oh, well, that's like, what, 80 bucks
American?

688
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:57,590
Here. Here you go.
A hundred. Keep the change.

689
00:36:57,799 --> 00:36:59,050
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

690
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:08,059
Can't believe you were gonna suck
that guy's dick. Come on, let's go.

691
00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:15,942
[DOGS BARKING]

692
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:22,699
MAN <i>[ON PA]: All vehicles, please proceed
slowly in assigned lanes...</i>

693
00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:24,659
<i>and prepare for vehicle inspection.</i>

694
00:37:24,868 --> 00:37:27,453
[MAN ON PA SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

695
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:28,997
Okay, here we go. This is it.

696
00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:30,623
Kenny, grab the hats. Hurry.

697
00:37:31,124 --> 00:37:33,626
You said the guard was just
gonna wave us through.

698
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:37,255
He will. But let's look the part so
the others don't get suspicious.

699
00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:41,926
[HORN HONKING]

700
00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:45,722
What the fuck does this guy want?

701
00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:47,640
I don't know. But he's honking.

702
00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:50,935
- Hi!
- Just ignore them.

703
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:55,690
Okay, he's really honking and it's making a
huge scene. I think he just wants to say hi.

704
00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:57,442
Oh, my God. I don't wanna say hi.

705
00:37:57,650 --> 00:37:59,903
They're just waving. If we just wave,
he'll stop.

706
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,821
Fine. I'll say hi. Fine.

707
00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:03,698
- HI
- HI

708
00:38:03,907 --> 00:38:06,951
Howdy-doody! Quite a rig you got there,
amigo.

709
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,289
That is quite a rig
you guys have there too.

710
00:38:11,497 --> 00:38:13,958
Well, thank you very kindly.
We do love her.

711
00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:17,337
We don't take her out as often as
we used to when our girl was small.

712
00:38:17,670 --> 00:38:22,300
It can be such a bear to carve out quality
family time but you gotta do it, don't you?

713
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,594
Yeah, David and Rose Miller here.

714
00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:25,929
Oh.

715
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:29,807
This is my daughter, Casey, right here.
And my son, Kenny.

716
00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:33,353
- How handsome.
- Pleased to make your acquaintance.

717
00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:36,231
Don Fitzgerald,
my smoldering wife, Edith...

718
00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:38,233
and our daughter. Say hi, Melissa.

719
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:48,243
[EDIE LAUGHS]

720
00:38:49,202 --> 00:38:51,122
MAN <i>[ON PA]: Lane one, please pull forward.</i>
- Oh.

721
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,665
<i>Sir. Sir, please pull forward.</i>

722
00:38:56,918 --> 00:38:58,211
I got a joint here.

723
00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:01,339
- Shut down lane one.
- It's medicinal.

724
00:39:01,547 --> 00:39:03,007
- What'd he say'?
- He has a joint.

725
00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:04,634
That's it?

726
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:06,886
[ROSE GASPS]

727
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:08,888
- Hide it.
- Okay.

728
00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,848
Get rid of it! Oh, my God!

729
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:12,475
Holy shit.

730
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,852
- Oh, that was so close.
- You have a baby!

731
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,981
- Oh, I love babies!
ROSE: Oh.

732
00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:20,775
Oh, look at that gorgeous
little bundle of joy!

733
00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:23,111
What's that beautiful little baby's name?

734
00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:27,031
- This is our little...
- LeBron.

735
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,992
- Name's LeBron.
ROSE: Yup.

736
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,494
- Oh.
- A little French fella.

737
00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:32,745
It's our little LeBron.

738
00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:36,416
I was against the name at first, but
the missus has a real soft spot...

739
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:38,744
for prima Donnas who'll never
be as good as Jordan.

740
00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,420
I can't see the face.

741
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:45,008
- I'm dying to see his face.
- Sir, pull forward to lane two.

742
00:39:45,341 --> 00:39:48,469
- Oh, fuck! Okay, put on the hats.
- You gotta pull over.

743
00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:51,097
- Here we go.
ROSE: Great.

744
00:39:52,598 --> 00:39:55,310
- My God, I feel like a fucking idiot.
- That's the idea.

745
00:39:55,518 --> 00:39:59,897
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Everybody smile
and follow my lead, all right?

746
00:40:00,106 --> 00:40:02,984
I'm gonna take us to the promised land.
Here we go. Here we go.

747
00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:04,902
[DOG BARKING]

748
00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:06,487
Steady.

749
00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,198
- Steady.
- Shit.

750
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:17,290
DAVID:
Shh. Shh, shh. I got this one.

751
00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:22,628
Okay. Everybody just smile. Everybody
be cool. Here we go. Follow my lead. Ahem.

752
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,924
You bringing anything
into the United States, sir?

753
00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,343
<i>'(uh...</i>

754
00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:31,570
Sir, are you bringing any contraband
back into the United States?

755
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:32,805
DAVID:
Um...

756
00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:34,223
GUARD 1: Sir?
- David!

757
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:35,512
[GUARD 1 SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

758
00:40:35,683 --> 00:40:37,226
[BARKING]

759
00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:41,522
Folks, I need you to pull over and exit the
vehicle, please.

760
00:40:42,565 --> 00:40:44,859
- But...
- Sir, is that actually necessary?

761
00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:47,195
I mean, these kids
are pooped and we've just...

762
00:40:47,403 --> 00:40:50,281
I need everybody out of this
recreational vehicle immediately.

763
00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:53,117
<i>- I'll</i> just put the baby down.
- We'll put the baby away.

764
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:58,414
Bring the child, pull over to the secondary
inspection area and exit the vehicle now!

765
00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:00,958
- Okay.
- Good.

766
00:41:01,167 --> 00:41:02,543
[BARKING]

767
00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:04,379
[ROSE GASPS]

768
00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:05,838
It's okay. It's all right.

769
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:07,924
It's okay, baby. It's just a puppy.

770
00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:09,967
Stand down.

771
00:41:11,052 --> 00:41:13,054
All right. It's okay.

772
00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:17,600
Before I search the vehicle, is there
anything you wanna tell me about?

773
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:19,352
Because after I open that door...

774
00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,437
I can't help you.

775
00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:30,738
Last chance. I'm gonna search this vehicle
top to bottom.

776
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:32,490
All right.

777
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:35,326
[MEN SHOUTING IN SPANISH]

778
00:41:35,535 --> 00:41:36,661
We got runners!

779
00:41:36,869 --> 00:41:38,704
[DOGS BARKING]

780
00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:41,707
[GUNSHOTS]

781
00:41:41,916 --> 00:41:43,668
GUARD 2:
We got runners!

782
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:47,171
Sorry to inconvenience you, folks.
This happens a lot.

783
00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:48,756
You have a nice day.

784
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:56,431
Go. Go, go!

785
00:42:12,905 --> 00:42:14,949
Ah. Well, that was fucking easy!

786
00:42:15,158 --> 00:42:16,325
[DAVID LAUGHS]

787
00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:17,994
- Oh, my God.
- God!

788
00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:19,245
Whoo! We did it!

789
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:22,999
Nicely done, Millers! Give it up!
Very good job. Here you go.

790
00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:25,793
Rose! Yeah! David! There you go!

791
00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:30,465
We are all officially international drug
smugglers. Add it to the resume.

792
00:42:30,673 --> 00:42:33,509
Ha, ha.
How about a little victory music, huh?

793
00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:37,638
[TLC'S "WATERFALLS"
PLAYING ON RADIO]

794
00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:38,931
Oh, no, no, no.

795
00:42:39,140 --> 00:42:41,392
- Don't change it. I love this song.
- Me too.

796
00:42:41,601 --> 00:42:44,103
What? I didn't even like this song
when it was popular.

797
00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:45,730
Come on, loosen up, David.

798
00:42:45,938 --> 00:42:47,982
[INCREASES VOLUME]

799
00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:50,401
<i>[SINGING</i> ALONG]
<i>Please stick to the rivers</i>

800
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,778
<i>And the lakes that you're used to</i>

801
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:54,030
Don't do this.

802
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,617
What? This isn't even
a good victory song.

803
00:42:57,825 --> 00:42:59,827
No, stop. We are not doing this.

804
00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:03,164
This is embarrassing. Stop.

805
00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:05,708
Ah, come on.

806
00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:10,004
<i>[RAPPING] I seen</i> a <i>rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone</i>

807
00:43:10,213 --> 00:43:12,381
<i>Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray
ls it because my life is 10 shades of gray</i>

808
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,633
<i>[MOUTHS]
What the fuck?</i>

809
00:43:14,509 --> 00:43:17,595
<i>I pray all 10 fade away
Seldom praise him for the sunny days</i>

810
00:43:17,803 --> 00:43:19,683
<i>You claim the insane
And name this place in time</i>

811
00:43:19,889 --> 00:43:23,267
<i>For fallin' prey to crime, I swear
The system got you victim to your own mind</i>

812
00:43:23,476 --> 00:43:26,479
<i>Dreams are hopeless aspirations
In hopes of comin' true</i>

813
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:28,731
<i>Believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and</i>

814
00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:31,651
<i>[SINGING]
Don't go chasin' waterfalls</i>

815
00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:34,278
- Whoo!
CASEY: Whoo, yeah, Kenny!

816
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,030
ROSE:
Where did you learn to do that?

817
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,698
DAVID:
Yeah, whatever.

818
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:41,494
[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

819
00:43:46,666 --> 00:43:48,960
[CROWD SHOUTING]

820
00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:51,504
[GROANS]

821
00:43:58,427 --> 00:44:00,513
[CROWD MURMURING]

822
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:02,848
<i>Sefior Chacon.</i>

823
00:44:03,057 --> 00:44:04,600
[ONE-EYE SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

824
00:44:04,809 --> 00:44:06,519
We were not expecting you.

825
00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:10,648
I decided to bring the gringo myself
to make sure everything goes as planned.

826
00:44:10,856 --> 00:44:14,902
But the gringo has already left with the
shipment, sefior.

827
00:44:15,194 --> 00:44:16,279
What gringo?

828
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:18,447
The gringo with the haircut of a donkey.

829
00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:21,701
You mean this gringo
with the haircut of a donkey.

830
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:23,995
I have failed you, sefior.

831
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,706
If you saw this gringo again would you
recognize him?

832
00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:29,917
He was driving an RV with his family.

833
00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:31,669
Get in the car.

834
00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:55,693
Oh, how fast are you going?

835
00:44:56,652 --> 00:44:59,572
Calm down, I'm going the speed limit.
We won't get pulled over.

836
00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:03,618
No, no. I mean, loaded down like this
in a 15-ton vehicle...

837
00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:06,162
going up a 10 percent grade.

838
00:45:06,746 --> 00:45:10,875
Just use your head, David.
I don't think you think things through.

839
00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:14,545
- What?
- Weight distribution loading and towing.

840
00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:15,921
- See?
- Yeah, I do.

841
00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:17,423
I thought this plan through.

842
00:45:17,632 --> 00:45:19,884
- Seems to be working out.
- Oh, great.

843
00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:21,844
[ALARM BEEPING]

844
00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:23,471
DAVID:
Oh, shit!

845
00:45:23,679 --> 00:45:25,556
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

846
00:45:25,765 --> 00:45:27,516
Seriously. God...!

847
00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:37,068
Was this part of your plan, David?

848
00:45:37,276 --> 00:45:38,361
Damn it.

849
00:45:38,778 --> 00:45:41,572
- Wait, what are we gonna do now?
- I don't kno...

850
00:45:41,781 --> 00:45:43,032
I can't even get a signal.

851
00:45:43,824 --> 00:45:46,494
No shit. We're in the fucking middle of
nowhere, dude.

852
00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:48,371
Oh, gee, thank you, Casey.

853
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:51,165
Thank you for your amazing problem
solving skills. So helpful.

854
00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:52,625
Whoa. Hey, what are you doing?

855
00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:56,295
I'm not gonna stand on the side of the
road next to an RV filled with pot.

856
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:57,797
I'm gonna try to find help.

857
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:01,175
- Yeah, fuck this. I'm going with her. Bye.
- What?

858
00:46:01,384 --> 00:46:04,011
CASEY: Wait up!
ROSE: Ugh. Ridiculous!

859
00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:08,224
Okay. Actually, that's fine. Good idea.
Okay, hurry back though, please.

860
00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:11,894
"Oh, I have a plan." Really? Good plan.
You don't have any plans.

861
00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:15,815
Women, am I right?

862
00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:18,526
Shut the fuck up, Kenny.

863
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:24,407
ROSE: And he's so smug. Ugh.
He drives me crazy.

864
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:25,908
CASEY:
Well, yeah, he's an idiot.

865
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,494
ROSE: No, he's not an idiot.
He's actually kind of smart.

866
00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:29,912
Why are you defending him?

867
00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:32,331
I'm not defending him.
I'm just saying that he...

868
00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:36,293
CASEY: Have you seen where we are?
This whole plan is so stupid.

869
00:46:36,502 --> 00:46:37,628
ROSE:
Oh, really?

870
00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:41,132
What golden advice did you follow that
ended with you on the streets?

871
00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:44,635
I don't live on the streets, okay?
I crash with friends.

872
00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:46,929
Ah. Okay. I see.

873
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,890
So you were kind of between
couches when David and Kenny found you.

874
00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:52,226
Are you gonna lecture me?
Seriously, I'll puke.

875
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:54,145
You know what, I'm not lecturing you.

876
00:46:54,353 --> 00:46:56,981
Okay, good. Because I don't
need advice from a stripper.

877
00:46:57,189 --> 00:46:58,774
All right, you know what you little shit?
I swear...

878
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,151
[HORN HONKS]

879
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,777
What the hell is this?

880
00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:05,948
Well, look at this
cute little couple of hitchhikers.

881
00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:07,575
We're here to save your bacon.

882
00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:10,244
Saddle up, little ladies. Ha-ha-ha!

883
00:47:10,453 --> 00:47:12,455
ROSE:
Hey. Hi, what's going on?

884
00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:16,250
They pulled up right after you guys left.
They're gonna tow us to a mechanic.

885
00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:18,377
They keeping asking to hold
the weed baby.

886
00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:20,921
All right, all right, calm down. Okay.

887
00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:24,592
Just calm down, all right? I got this.
Watch.

888
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:27,428
I'm holding that baby.

889
00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:30,765
Edie, you will, I promise,
but it's nap time for LeBron.

890
00:47:30,973 --> 00:47:32,057
Come on, guys, let's go.

891
00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:35,394
All aboard the Fitzgerald Express.
Honk, honk!

892
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:38,063
ROSE: Ha-ha-ha!
- Toot, toot!

893
00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,567
It's like we're pretending it's a train,
but it's not.

894
00:47:41,776 --> 00:47:43,611
[EDIE LAUGHS]

895
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:50,534
KENNY: Surrounded by goblins.
MELISSA: Okay.

896
00:47:50,743 --> 00:47:51,952
Oh, Oh, Oh!

897
00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:54,747
One more sec, okay? Hold on,
one second. Don't freak.

898
00:47:54,955 --> 00:47:56,635
EDIE:
When you're a synchronized swimmer...

899
00:47:56,832 --> 00:47:59,084
you can't use a maxi pad,
you can see it.

900
00:47:59,293 --> 00:48:01,128
So my friend bought me a box of tampons.

901
00:48:01,337 --> 00:48:03,839
And I'll tell you, I had
a hard time inserting those.

902
00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:06,133
- It would just stick halfway out.
ROSE: Mm-hm.

903
00:48:06,342 --> 00:48:08,182
- It was just like a Roman candle.
ROSE: Mm-hm.

904
00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:11,555
And that is how I found out
I was born with a shallow vagina.

905
00:48:13,349 --> 00:48:17,561
- That was such a detailed story, Edie.
- Thank you!

906
00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:22,441
You gotta do a one-woman show.
It's, like, so many layers, you know?

907
00:48:23,484 --> 00:48:25,694
So, what's your story, David?

908
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,738
- What do you mean?
- How'd you two meet?

909
00:48:27,947 --> 00:48:30,491
Ah! Honey, tell her.

910
00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:33,244
And don't leave out
any of the romantic parts.

911
00:48:33,619 --> 00:48:34,912
DAVID:
Okay. All right.

912
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,248
Where did we first meet. Um...

913
00:48:37,456 --> 00:48:38,791
It's great.

914
00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:42,628
Well, that would have been when Rose
moved into my apartment building.

915
00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:44,672
- Ah. That's right.
DAVID: Mm-hm.

916
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,090
[GASPS]

917
00:48:46,298 --> 00:48:49,426
I remember watching her through the
crack in my door as she was...

918
00:48:49,635 --> 00:48:50,928
Wait, you were spying on me?

919
00:48:51,136 --> 00:48:53,889
Now, hon, just because you've heard it
a thousand times...

920
00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:56,267
doesn't mean you should interrupt.
Don't be rude.

921
00:48:56,851 --> 00:48:59,019
All right. Proceed.

922
00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:01,397
But, yeah, I was spying on her.

923
00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:03,941
She was unloading this U-Haul
all by herself.

924
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:08,487
I wanna go help her, but I don't wanna come
off like I'm hitting on her, because...

925
00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:11,907
you know, I'd like to hit on her
maybe at some point.

926
00:49:13,117 --> 00:49:15,286
And, uh...

927
00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:20,875
she was wearing these little navy
blue Chuck Taylors and these jean shorts.

928
00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:23,586
No pockets on the back,
however that happened.

929
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:27,047
And this, uh, Tom Waits T-shirt.

930
00:49:27,256 --> 00:49:28,966
I was like, "Oh, that's cool."

931
00:49:29,174 --> 00:49:30,676
Because I love Tom Waits.

932
00:49:30,885 --> 00:49:32,803
And she just looked beautiful.

933
00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:40,019
If you're into that kind of mean,
pretty thing.

934
00:49:42,563 --> 00:49:43,606
So, anyway, uh...

935
00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:48,485
she starts to bring up this really big
weird-looking painting up the stairs.

936
00:49:48,694 --> 00:49:52,531
And I'm like, "Okay, here's my shot."
All right, so I go outside...

937
00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:56,035
and I help her with it.
I'm trying to, at least.

938
00:49:56,243 --> 00:49:57,953
She looks at me and goes:
"Stop it!"

939
00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:00,539
- She just snaps at me.
- You started yanking at it.

940
00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:02,666
Next thing you know, it's a tug of war...

941
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:05,085
pulling it back
and forth and out of nowhere...

942
00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:08,422
His fat fist
goes right through the canvas.

943
00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:11,800
- But it was an accident.
- Doesn't matter! You ruined my painting.

944
00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:14,929
Okay. Honestly, I really think
you should have thanked me.

945
00:50:15,137 --> 00:50:17,181
Yeah, because that painting
was hideous.

946
00:50:17,389 --> 00:50:18,557
[CHUCKLES]

947
00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:21,310
My grandfather painted that painting.

948
00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:24,313
And it was my favorite thing
in the entire world.

949
00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:28,692
So we get in this screaming
match in front of the whole building.

950
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:31,195
And everybody comes out
and is watching it.

951
00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,614
I mean, from that moment,
we hated each other.

952
00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:35,282
Oh, man.

953
00:50:36,617 --> 00:50:40,371
- And then you fell in love. Oh!
- Yeah. Then we fell in love.

954
00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:44,583
- Ha, ha!
- Hey, now. I think this is our exit.

955
00:50:44,792 --> 00:50:47,294
David, could you grab me the map
out of the glove box?

956
00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:49,129
Yes, sir.

957
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,591
- Whoa. Whoa. Uh...
ROSE: Whoa!

958
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,761
DON: Oh, hey, sorry about that, buddy.
Didn't mean to scare you there.

959
00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:57,805
That's just my service pistol and badge.

960
00:50:58,013 --> 00:51:00,099
Oh. Your badge.

961
00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:03,102
- Are you a cop?
- No, no, no.

962
00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:04,979
No? Oh, God.

963
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,272
- I'm in the DEA.
ROSE: Oh.

964
00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:12,486
[BREATHES DEEPLY]

965
00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:16,115
Yeah, my Don has been an agent for the
last 22 years.

966
00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:17,992
On a bit of a hiatus at the moment.

967
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,078
They took him out of the field,
he wasn't aggressive enough.

968
00:51:21,286 --> 00:51:23,497
- That's enough.
- I'm sorry. It's not right, Don.

969
00:51:23,706 --> 00:51:26,750
Those young guns aren't half the
agent you are, those crumb-bums.

970
00:51:26,959 --> 00:51:29,461
Edith, you know how I feel
about your cussing.

971
00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:32,881
- I'm sorry, Don.
- Edith can be a little hot-blooded at times.

972
00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:35,884
- I'm 1/8 Italian, so...
ROSE: Oh. It's okay.

973
00:51:37,052 --> 00:51:40,848
Uh, hey, if you guys will excuse me.

974
00:51:41,056 --> 00:51:42,850
- Wanna join me?
- Where are you off to?

975
00:51:43,058 --> 00:51:45,352
- We're gonna check on the baby.
- Gonna take a dump.

976
00:51:45,561 --> 00:51:47,938
- Check the baby's dumps.
ROSE: That's what we should say.

977
00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,191
- Yeah, just go check on Lebanon.
- LeBron. His name's LeBron.

978
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,987
He just has a terrible tummy.
And it's just bad diarrhea stuff.

979
00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:56,530
DON:
Do we still have cornstarch?

980
00:51:56,739 --> 00:51:58,949
EDIE:
Yeah, there's cornstarch for his bottom.

981
00:51:59,158 --> 00:52:00,826
- Family meeting.
- Yep.

982
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:03,662
EDIE:
I'm getting my hands on that baby.

983
00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:08,333
He's a narc?
Are you fucking kidding me?!

984
00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:12,004
Stop panicking! We haven't done anything
suspicious yet, so just relax!

985
00:52:12,296 --> 00:52:15,632
Oh, really? Okay. What about when they
wanna hold our precious weed baby?

986
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,176
Give me the baby, all right?

987
00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:19,720
I'll handle it if it happens.
I'll take care of it.

988
00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:23,474
Right now, all we have to do is
get away from that fucked up family.

989
00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:25,476
Oh, fuck. Why are we stopping?

990
00:52:25,684 --> 00:52:29,146
They heard us. They heard us.
Fuck, we're going to jail.

991
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:34,026
No, no, no.
We're just at the garage, okay?

992
00:52:34,234 --> 00:52:37,196
Everybody calm down. We haven't
done anything. You're right.

993
00:52:37,404 --> 00:52:40,908
I'll ditch this guy real fast. We're gonna
get in and get out of here, okay?

994
00:52:41,116 --> 00:52:43,744
Game face, okay?
Miller time. Here we go.

995
00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:46,663
No other repair shops nearby?

996
00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:51,001
Run by a Christian and open after
supper on a Saturday night? No, sir.

997
00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:54,880
Ah, shoot. I'd give you the hose out
of our rig and send you on your way...

998
00:52:55,089 --> 00:52:56,757
but we'd be stranded ourselves.

999
00:52:57,257 --> 00:53:00,177
Besides, this way we can all get to
know each other better.

1000
00:53:00,427 --> 00:53:02,721
- What's happening?
- They're closed till morning.

1001
00:53:03,138 --> 00:53:04,515
Oklahoma.

1002
00:53:05,224 --> 00:53:06,266
Oh, God.

1003
00:53:06,475 --> 00:53:09,061
You folks can make camp with the
Fitzgeralds tonight.

1004
00:53:09,269 --> 00:53:13,315
I know a great spot. We'll set up the old
tents and you can bed down in our Winni.

1005
00:53:13,524 --> 00:53:16,110
<i>- I'll</i> give you a hand with your gear.
- No, no, no.

1006
00:53:16,318 --> 00:53:18,362
That's okay.
Millers carry their own weight.

1007
00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:21,573
- I knew I liked you, David.
- Kenny, you wanna get our shit?

1008
00:53:22,366 --> 00:53:24,618
- Hey.
- This will be a hoot.

1009
00:53:25,077 --> 00:53:28,288
I'll watch your little one so you and your
man can have some snuggle time.

1010
00:53:28,497 --> 00:53:30,958
- I don't want you to have to...
- I am good with babies.

1011
00:53:31,166 --> 00:53:33,544
Nonsense! Oh, give me the baby.
Give me that baby!

1012
00:53:34,753 --> 00:53:36,046
[GASPS]

1013
00:53:36,255 --> 00:53:37,297
[HORN BLARING]

1014
00:53:37,506 --> 00:53:39,591
[ALL SCREAM]

1015
00:53:45,013 --> 00:53:46,056
Shit!

1016
00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:48,517
EDIE:
Oh, my God!

1017
00:53:49,726 --> 00:53:51,770
Oh, my God!

1018
00:53:52,437 --> 00:53:55,649
Oh, my God.
Why isn't there blood?!

1019
00:53:55,858 --> 00:53:58,735
Oh, my God! What's happening?

1020
00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:02,906
Thanks a lot, Morn. Now what am I
supposed to use for my health project?

1021
00:54:03,115 --> 00:54:05,367
I'm gonna fail and have to go to
community college.

1022
00:54:05,576 --> 00:54:08,120
- My future's ruined!
- Honey.

1023
00:54:08,495 --> 00:54:10,330
Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right?

1024
00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:13,834
- That baby was...?
- Oh, did you think that LeBron was...?

1025
00:54:14,042 --> 00:54:17,880
ALL: Heh-heh-heh.
- No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs.

1026
00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:19,673
Oregano and basil mostly.

1027
00:54:19,882 --> 00:54:22,593
We were just treating it like
a real baby, a summer project.

1028
00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:25,137
- Extra credit.
DAVID: It teaches the students that...

1029
00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:26,985
nothing ruins your life like children.

1030
00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:31,143
Yeah. And it also sends that message
to teens, just stick to the big A.

1031
00:54:31,351 --> 00:54:33,145
- Yeah, anal.
- Abstinence, you meant.

1032
00:54:34,396 --> 00:54:36,231
- Neither makes a baby.
- He confuses them.

1033
00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:39,860
Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edie.
We promised our Casey...

1034
00:54:40,068 --> 00:54:43,655
that we would treat it like a real baby
all summer and we went too far.

1035
00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:44,907
Got used to it. Sorry.

1036
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,658
ROSE:
And so I'm embarrassed, actually.

1037
00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:48,535
I think that would scare anybody.

1038
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:52,039
She's very emotional. You should have
seen her at the end of Free <i>Willy.</i>

1039
00:54:52,247 --> 00:54:53,457
Oh, stop it, Don.

1040
00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:57,294
I love that whale.

1041
00:54:57,669 --> 00:55:00,130
Well, who loves campfire games?

1042
00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:02,132
EDIE:
Oh, Don.

1043
00:55:04,843 --> 00:55:07,095
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's my pleasure to welcome you...

1044
00:55:07,262 --> 00:55:10,390
to the annual
singing Fitzgerald family jamboree.

1045
00:55:11,391 --> 00:55:13,352
Our usual guests couldn't
be here this year.

1046
00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:17,189
- Uh, they're called the Osmond family.
- Ha-ha-ha!

1047
00:55:17,356 --> 00:55:19,650
[BOTH LAUGHING]

1048
00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:25,197
But in their place this year we have the
very talented and wonderful Miller family.

1049
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:29,785
Let's get this party started
with a Fitzgerald family favorite.

1050
00:55:30,410 --> 00:55:33,247
<i>[SINGING]
Breakin' rocks in the hot sun</i>

1051
00:55:33,413 --> 00:55:36,166
<i>I fought the law and the law won</i>

1052
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:39,753
<i>I fought the law and the law won</i>

1053
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,255
It always does.

1054
00:55:41,421 --> 00:55:44,716
<i>DON: I needed to steal some money
'Cause I had none</i>

1055
00:55:44,883 --> 00:55:47,177
<i>I fought the law and the law won</i>

1056
00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,387
Now just the Millers.

1057
00:55:48,553 --> 00:55:52,057
<i>ALL [SINGING]:
I fought the law and the law won</i>

1058
00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:55,727
<i>I fought the law and the law won</i>

1059
00:55:56,687 --> 00:56:00,691
I want you to imagine you committed a felony,
you've been tried and sent to prison...

1060
00:56:00,857 --> 00:56:04,569
and you're standing out in the sun breaking
up rocks with a Sledgehammer. And...

1061
00:56:04,736 --> 00:56:07,656
<i>[SINGING]
I fought the law and the law won</i>

1062
00:56:07,823 --> 00:56:10,659
<i>I fought the law and the law won</i>

1063
00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:12,586
- All right, that's great.
ROSE: That's good.

1064
00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:15,163
DAVID: That's fun. Great song.
- I love it. That was great.

1065
00:56:15,330 --> 00:56:16,873
Great choice.

1066
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,377
- Great, kids.
- Well, that was an A for effort.

1067
00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:23,171
- Whoo! I got the spirit!
- That's great.

1068
00:56:23,338 --> 00:56:24,578
EDIE:
<i>It's</i> a <i>bird, it's</i> a <i>plane.</i>

1069
00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:27,718
DON: U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force.
Ollie North! EDIE: Take me home to...

1070
00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:29,261
EDIE:
Looks like a sea animal.

1071
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,846
Hammer tooth shark.

1072
00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:35,600
[WHISPERING] We wait until they fall asleep
and then we sneak into their tent, all right?

1073
00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,728
[WHISPERING]
Mm. Cut their throats.

1074
00:56:38,478 --> 00:56:40,355
- What?
- What?

1075
00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:42,357
No. Jesus.

1076
00:56:42,691 --> 00:56:44,568
- What the fuck's wrong with you?
- Nothing.

1077
00:56:44,776 --> 00:56:48,238
I wasn't saying to do that. I didn't
say that. I thought you were gonna it.

1078
00:56:48,447 --> 00:56:50,824
You thought I was gonna say
"out their throats"?

1079
00:56:51,283 --> 00:56:53,660
Who do you think I am, Scarface?
Give me a break.

1080
00:56:53,869 --> 00:56:55,749
DON: Herbert Walker Bush!
EDIE: Paper airplanes!

1081
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,622
Clowns. Clown sandwich.

1082
00:56:57,831 --> 00:56:59,458
Don't lock the baby in the basement.

1083
00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:02,711
What I was gonna say: We sneak
into the tent, steal Don's keys...

1084
00:57:02,919 --> 00:57:06,673
then we take the RV back to the shop and I
can swap out their radiator hose for ours.

1085
00:57:06,882 --> 00:57:08,925
Ah. Got it.

1086
00:57:09,134 --> 00:57:11,887
- The Earth! The Earth is on fire!
- Atmosphere.

1087
00:57:12,095 --> 00:57:13,347
EDIE:
Uh...

1088
00:57:13,555 --> 00:57:14,681
[WHISPERS]
Plain and simple.

1089
00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:16,475
Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda!

1090
00:57:16,683 --> 00:57:18,185
[BELL RINGS]

1091
00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:19,644
It was "plain and simple."

1092
00:57:19,853 --> 00:57:25,108
- See, this was a plane, and then this W...
- Oh, Melissa, of course it was.

1093
00:57:25,484 --> 00:57:26,735
That is so clever.

1094
00:57:26,943 --> 00:57:28,695
Gosh, I thought it was really good.

1095
00:57:29,404 --> 00:57:31,239
I'm a terrible drawer, so...

1096
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,326
- Great, because you're up next.
- Ah.

1097
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,413
- Passing the baton.
KENNY: Nice work.

1098
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:40,422
ROSE [IN NORMAL VOICE]:
Okay. Let's go, Kenny.

1099
00:57:40,624 --> 00:57:42,376
DAVID [IN NORMAL VOICE]
All right, Kenny, here we go.

1100
00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:44,878
- Draw your brains out.
ROSE: All right, that's a line.

1101
00:57:45,087 --> 00:57:47,255
- A slash. Guns and Roses.
- Looks like a spring.

1102
00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:50,509
What is that? That's a... Kenny,
come on, draw something, buddy.

1103
00:57:50,717 --> 00:57:51,843
CASEY: String.
DAVID: Come on, son.

1104
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:54,554
- Rocket. It's a rocket or...
- ls that a cucumber?

1105
00:57:54,763 --> 00:57:56,056
This is really stupid.

1106
00:57:56,264 --> 00:57:58,892
DAVID: ls it a bad drawing, Kenny?
My guess is "bad drawing."

1107
00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:02,646
- It's...
- Oh! A penis! A penis.

1108
00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:06,233
It's a big dick. Those are balls.

1109
00:58:06,441 --> 00:58:09,653
It's a big black dick! It's a drawing.
Black! It's a big black dick.

1110
00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:12,864
It's a big, big black cock!

1111
00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:14,783
<i>Black Cock Down!</i>

1112
00:58:14,991 --> 00:58:17,077
[DON SIGHS
THEN BELL RINGS]

1113
00:58:19,955 --> 00:58:21,206
It's a skateboard.

1114
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:24,251
- It's a skateboard, great.
- A skateboard. Of course it is.

1115
00:58:24,459 --> 00:58:27,379
- It's a big black skateboard.
ROSE: I see it.

1116
00:58:27,587 --> 00:58:30,590
Of course. It's very clear.
But, you see, it was up... There's...

1117
00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:34,052
Its wheels, so I didn't see it
down on the ground, and then it...

1118
00:58:37,931 --> 00:58:40,642
<i>Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down?</i>

1119
00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:43,478
Nice job, Meryl Streep.
Very subtle character work.

1120
00:58:43,687 --> 00:58:45,689
Not my fault that Kenny can't draw.

1121
00:58:45,897 --> 00:58:47,566
DAVID:
Don't you pick on Kenny.

1122
00:58:47,774 --> 00:58:50,152
ROSE: Nothing about that
looked like a skateboard.

1123
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,196
You leave him alone.
Where the hell's Kenny?

1124
00:58:53,405 --> 00:58:55,490
- You guys, come here.
- What?

1125
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,367
- What's going on?
- Look at these two.

1126
00:58:57,576 --> 00:58:59,411
ROSE: Aww.
DAVID: Uh-oh.

1127
00:59:02,164 --> 00:59:04,791
- Guess I'm not the best drawer.
- No, you were great.

1128
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,043
- I knew that was a skateboard.
- Yeah.

1129
00:59:07,419 --> 00:59:10,338
- I don't know where the confusion was.
- No, I... That...

1130
00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:12,132
Yeah.

1131
00:59:13,049 --> 00:59:16,094
I, um, really like your family.
They're, uh...

1132
00:59:16,303 --> 00:59:19,890
- They're different.
- Well, they're not my family. I mean...

1133
00:59:20,098 --> 00:59:21,558
Yeah, no, I get what you mean.

1134
00:59:21,766 --> 00:59:23,685
- She wants him to kiss her.
- Absolutely.

1135
00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:27,189
CASEY: She does, right?
- And sometimes I feel like I'm adopted...

1136
00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:29,524
or an alien, you know, or something.

1137
00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:32,652
Right. That's what I meant. Um...

1138
00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,405
But also, you know, I
would totally adopt you.

1139
00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,115
You know, um...

1140
00:59:38,658 --> 00:59:41,912
Not that I wanna be your daddy.
I just, uh...

1141
00:59:42,412 --> 00:59:44,581
DAVID: He's talking too much.
CASEY: He won't shut up.

1142
00:59:47,042 --> 00:59:48,335
Uh, well, good night.

1143
00:59:48,543 --> 00:59:50,337
[ALL GROAN]

1144
00:59:50,545 --> 00:59:52,339
<i>- I'll</i> see you.
- Okay. Um...

1145
00:59:52,797 --> 00:59:53,965
Fucking hug.

1146
00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:55,258
(0K8)'-

1147
00:59:56,676 --> 00:59:57,719
And, uh, Melissa?

1148
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:01,598
- Yeah?
- Uh, watch out for bears.

1149
01:00:01,806 --> 01:00:05,393
Um, you know. Can't see them coming.

1150
01:00:06,019 --> 01:00:07,270
Good tip.

1151
01:00:13,860 --> 01:00:16,821
That poor kid.
Well, you should go talk to him.

1152
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,490
Who?

1153
01:00:19,491 --> 01:00:21,331
I said you should go...
Well, who do you think?

1154
01:00:21,493 --> 01:00:23,411
Me? What the hell am I gonna say?

1155
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,330
Talk to him about guy stuff.

1156
01:00:25,872 --> 01:00:28,917
- Jesus fucking Christ.
- Come on, how hard is it? Just go.

1157
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:37,175
DAVID: Hey, man, how you doing?
- Hey.

1158
01:00:37,384 --> 01:00:39,386
- Anybody sitting here?
- Uh, no.

1159
01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:42,639
Well, good, good, good, good.
All right.

1160
01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:45,475
So, um...

1161
01:00:46,518 --> 01:00:49,521
I saw what just happened
with you and Melissa.

1162
01:00:50,230 --> 01:00:51,940
- Oh.
- Um...

1163
01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:56,820
You know, you don't have to be scared to
kiss a girl. Heh-heh.

1164
01:00:57,028 --> 01:01:01,324
I mean, you damn near sucked a guy's dick
nine hours ago. What are you shy now for?

1165
01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:03,660
That's not funny, David.

1166
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:09,124
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1167
01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:12,043
It was a bad joke. Ahem.

1168
01:01:14,337 --> 01:01:17,090
You wanna know something I used
to do when I was your age...

1169
01:01:17,299 --> 01:01:19,467
kept me from
getting nervous around girls?

1170
01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:23,430
- Yeah.
- I would just count to three.

1171
01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:26,266
- Count to three?
- Yeah.

1172
01:01:26,850 --> 01:01:29,561
- That's your big advice? Count to three?
- Yeah.

1173
01:01:29,769 --> 01:01:33,940
I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl
or ask her to go out, or I mean...

1174
01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:37,694
Actually, if you get scared of anything,
just do this: just count to three...

1175
01:01:37,902 --> 01:01:39,237
and then do it.

1176
01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:44,743
Because if you take too long, you over think
it and you'll just drive yourself crazy.

1177
01:01:44,951 --> 01:01:46,786
Trust me, it'll change your life.

1178
01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:49,914
I guess that makes sense.

1179
01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:53,501
- Thanks.
- Yeah. No problem.

1180
01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:57,130
And, you know, if you have any other
questions...

1181
01:01:57,339 --> 01:01:59,299
about, like, the birds and the bees...

1182
01:01:59,507 --> 01:02:02,177
who puts what into where,
any of that fun stuff...

1183
01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:05,013
just don't hesitate to ask, okay?

1184
01:02:05,221 --> 01:02:06,264
- Okay.
- Okay.

1185
01:02:06,556 --> 01:02:07,956
- Good talk.
KENNY: Yeah, good talk.

1186
01:02:08,141 --> 01:02:10,018
DAVID:
Oh, my back.

1187
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,937
- So old.
KENNY: Yeah.

1188
01:02:18,526 --> 01:02:20,654
[OWL HOOTING]

1189
01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:39,881
<i>[MOUTHING] Wait. You go in.
I'll keep</i> a <i>lookout, okay? Good.</i>

1190
01:02:40,090 --> 01:02:43,718
<i>[MOUTHING] Fuck you. This was your idea.
You're going the fuck in there.</i>

1191
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:45,553
<i>Why are you yelling at me?</i>

1192
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:47,806
<i>I am not yelling at you.</i>

1193
01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:50,433
<i>Okay. Okay.</i>

1194
01:02:52,310 --> 01:02:53,561
<i>Watch.</i>

1195
01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:10,537
Bin Laden!

1196
01:03:11,663 --> 01:03:13,206
What's happening? Ls it raccoons?

1197
01:03:14,499 --> 01:03:15,625
God.

1198
01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:17,669
You were right about them, Edith.

1199
01:03:17,877 --> 01:03:19,629
- No. I'm so sorry.
- Let me explain.

1200
01:03:19,838 --> 01:03:21,256
This is completely explainable.

1201
01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:23,717
- A misunderstanding.
- We didn't mean to do this.

1202
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:27,745
- You just have to understand something.
ROSE: Mm-hm, mm-hm.

1203
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:33,435
We have never done anything like this with
another couple before.

1204
01:03:34,227 --> 01:03:35,645
Uh-huh.

1205
01:03:35,854 --> 01:03:38,440
That's no judgment on you.
We're no squares.

1206
01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:40,817
- I own a vibrator.
- That's right, she does.

1207
01:03:41,693 --> 01:03:43,293
- Awesome.
DON: I wasn't for it at first.

1208
01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:46,448
The darn thing's made in China,
for cripes' sake...

1209
01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:51,369
but when you've been married this long
you look for anything to spice things up.

1210
01:03:51,578 --> 01:03:55,415
So, of course we've discussed a scenario
like this.

1211
01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:59,711
Yes. And tonight when you brought up
that big black "baby maker"...

1212
01:04:00,712 --> 01:04:02,839
DON: Well, we got it.
- Loud and clear.

1213
01:04:03,047 --> 01:04:05,341
Our vibrator is named "Joe Morgan."

1214
01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:08,720
We were picking up
what you were putting down.

1215
01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:11,055
EDIE: Same page.
- Interesting.

1216
01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:15,310
We're very flattered by this, but right
now, in the middle of the night...

1217
01:04:15,518 --> 01:04:18,938
I'm not sure I'm really ready for it.
Aw, Don.

1218
01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:21,441
Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem.

1219
01:04:21,649 --> 01:04:22,984
We just had to ask. So...

1220
01:04:23,193 --> 01:04:24,486
EDIE:
Wait. I have an idea.

1221
01:04:26,321 --> 01:04:30,992
Okay. Maybe I could take
a baby step tonight.

1222
01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:33,745
I mean, my mouth is for my marriage.

1223
01:04:33,995 --> 01:04:36,915
But I've never touched
another woman before.

1224
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:43,338
I would be okay with that. Yeah.

1225
01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:45,089
EDIE:
Oh, great.

1226
01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:47,217
Rose?

1227
01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:50,470
- There you go.
- Okay. All right, I'm sitting.

1228
01:04:50,762 --> 01:04:52,180
- Are you okay?
- David.

1229
01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:55,350
- Mother to mother, is this okay with you?
- Yes. "Mother." Yes.

1230
01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,894
- Are you sure?
- Let's get this mother started.

1231
01:04:58,102 --> 01:05:00,522
- Shall we? Okay.
EDIE: Ha-ha-ha!

1232
01:05:00,772 --> 01:05:03,775
- Okay, Don, are you watching?
- I'm good.

1233
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:06,569
Okay. Uh, wow.

1234
01:05:06,778 --> 01:05:09,405
My heart's pounding
so fast in my chest.

1235
01:05:09,614 --> 01:05:12,242
- Ahem. So I guess we're swinging.
- Hmm? Oh, yeah.

1236
01:05:12,450 --> 01:05:14,285
Ooh. Ha, ha.

1237
01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:15,912
EDIE:
Sorry that I'm taking so long.

1238
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,206
Hello. Ha-ha-ha!

1239
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,877
Okay, I'm just gonna do it real fast.
There we go.

1240
01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:25,004
- There they are.
- There they are.

1241
01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:28,466
- Wow! Wow!
ROSE: It's happening. This is happening.

1242
01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:32,554
EDIE: Don, are you looking at this?
I'm touching her boobs.

1243
01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:35,014
- This is a miracle.
- Okey-doke.

1244
01:05:35,223 --> 01:05:38,476
- Would you like to feel my breasts?
- I think that's enough for tonight.

1245
01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:40,478
- You're right.
- Don't give away the farm.

1246
01:05:40,687 --> 01:05:42,438
- A little roughhouse?
- We should wait.

1247
01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:45,400
- Are you okay down there?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1248
01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:46,985
Have fun tonight, kids.

1249
01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:52,282
ROSE: Awesome.
- I'm never gonna wash these hands.

1250
01:05:52,490 --> 01:05:53,825
Mwah, mwah, mwah!

1251
01:05:54,409 --> 01:05:55,660
Thank you so much.

1252
01:05:56,035 --> 01:05:58,075
ROSE: Good night. That was great.
- Okay, bye, guys.

1253
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:00,206
Great. What now, genius?

1254
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:02,417
- Tell me... What?
- Oh, 0h, oh. I don't know.

1255
01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:04,085
I just got ear fucked in a tent.

1256
01:06:04,252 --> 01:06:07,046
If you let her finger bang you
they would have given us the keys.

1257
01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,966
Oh, really? Why don't you go
suck Don's dick for them...

1258
01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:13,303
and then you get the keys?
He was certainly loving on those earlobes.

1259
01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:16,890
Okay, look. First, unlike you, I only
suck a man's dick if I'm in love, okay?

1260
01:06:17,056 --> 01:06:18,725
That's kind of a personal rule I have.

1261
01:06:18,892 --> 01:06:21,144
- Yeah, and secondly... And secondly...
- What?

1262
01:06:24,147 --> 01:06:27,275
I don't have a second one.
I don't know where I was going with that.

1263
01:06:27,442 --> 01:06:29,319
Fucking idiot.

1264
01:06:29,944 --> 01:06:31,863
Oh, I thought of one. I got one.

1265
01:06:32,030 --> 01:06:34,365
[VIBRATOR HUMMING
AND DON and EDIE GIGGLING]

1266
01:06:35,909 --> 01:06:38,036
DON:
Here comes Joe Morgan up to the plate.

1267
01:06:38,202 --> 01:06:39,329
[BOTH GIGGLE]

1268
01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:40,788
EDIE:
Oh, Don.

1269
01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:43,041
[KENNY SIGHS]

1270
01:06:46,419 --> 01:06:47,462
Okay, what?

1271
01:06:49,547 --> 01:06:50,882
What? What do you mean?

1272
01:06:51,090 --> 01:06:52,425
Do you wanna talk about it...

1273
01:06:52,634 --> 01:06:55,386
or mope around like
someone kicked you in the vagina?

1274
01:06:57,388 --> 01:06:59,307
Okay. Um...

1275
01:06:59,515 --> 01:07:01,559
Well, I've never really like...

1276
01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:03,936
Had sex before. Shocker.

1277
01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:05,647
Kissed a girl before.

1278
01:07:06,230 --> 01:07:09,609
Wait, what? I thought you said
you were like 18.

1279
01:07:09,984 --> 01:07:12,403
- Okay, you know what, forget it.
- Okay, okay, wait. Okay.

1280
01:07:12,612 --> 01:07:15,615
Come on. Sit down.
Don't need to be so dramatic.

1281
01:07:15,823 --> 01:07:18,409
Look, it's okay
that you haven't kissed a girl.

1282
01:07:18,618 --> 01:07:20,787
I'm sure there are some girls...

1283
01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,747
who I've never met...

1284
01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:25,541
that find inexperience
kind of sweet.

1285
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:30,171
I don't wanna be a sweet, inexperienced
guy who's never been worth kissing.

1286
01:07:30,963 --> 01:07:35,635
I wanna be the guy who grabs a girl
and kisses her. You know?

1287
01:07:38,763 --> 01:07:41,432
Okay, let me make one thing clear.

1288
01:07:41,641 --> 01:07:44,686
This isn't one of those moments
where the girl kisses the boy...

1289
01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:47,897
and realizes she's been in love with him
the whole time, okay?

1290
01:07:48,731 --> 01:07:50,858
You're my fake brother
and you're a sweet kid...

1291
01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:53,569
so this is for you
to bring back to Melissa.

1292
01:07:53,778 --> 01:07:55,863
- What is?
- I'm gonna kiss you, dingus.

1293
01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:58,241
Oh.

1294
01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:02,495
- What are you doing? Shut your eyes.
- Okay, sorry. Right.

1295
01:08:02,704 --> 01:08:04,914
That's weird. That's really weird.

1296
01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:07,166
- Sorry.
- All right. Ahem.

1297
01:08:12,797 --> 01:08:14,966
That was okay.
Now more tongue.

1298
01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:17,385
Tongue. I can do that.

1299
01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:22,265
Too much tongue. Too much tongue.

1300
01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:26,060
Right. Too much...
Yeah, that's my fault. My bad. Sorry.

1301
01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:29,188
Less tongue.

1302
01:08:34,736 --> 01:08:35,778
That was good.

1303
01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:39,866
All right, now this time, I want you
to choke me a little bit.

1304
01:08:40,074 --> 01:08:44,036
- Uh, okay.
DAVID: Whoa. What's going on here?

1305
01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:45,705
Uh, it's...

1306
01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:48,833
- We're not doing what it looks like.
- Really?

1307
01:08:49,083 --> 01:08:51,711
It looks like Casey's
teaching you how to kiss out of pity.

1308
01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,087
CASEY:
Mm-hm.

1309
01:08:53,296 --> 01:08:55,840
Uh, well, then it is what
it looks like, yeah.

1310
01:08:56,215 --> 01:08:57,467
Really.

1311
01:08:57,842 --> 01:08:59,260
What did you teach him?

1312
01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:02,388
The basics.
He's never kissed a girl before.

1313
01:09:02,889 --> 01:09:05,516
You haven't?
Oh. Well, honey, show me.

1314
01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:07,894
- Uh, really?
- Yes.

1315
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:09,604
Okay. Uh...

1316
01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:14,442
Oh. Not bad.

1317
01:09:14,650 --> 01:09:15,985
It's not bad.

1318
01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:18,154
- Try this.
- Okay.

1319
01:09:18,362 --> 01:09:19,447
Come here.

1320
01:09:21,365 --> 01:09:22,784
[KENNY GRUNTS]

1321
01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:24,035
There you go.

1322
01:09:26,287 --> 01:09:28,206
You feel that?
What I did with my tongue?

1323
01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:32,168
- Yes, ma'am.
- Show Casey what you just learned.

1324
01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:37,381
Look at that.

1325
01:09:38,299 --> 01:09:40,676
Mm! Whoa!

1326
01:09:40,885 --> 01:09:42,136
DAVID:
Wait. Hold on.

1327
01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:46,224
I wanna get a picture of you with the
first girl you ever kissed. Here you go.

1328
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:47,975
- Mm-hm. Make it good.
- Good.

1329
01:09:48,184 --> 01:09:51,062
Rose. Get in there.
There you go. Photo bomb it.

1330
01:09:52,146 --> 01:09:54,607
- This is getting better, it's getting better.
- Okay.

1331
01:09:58,611 --> 01:10:00,112
ROSE:
It's so cute.

1332
01:10:00,321 --> 01:10:02,448
DAVID: Use your hands. They got
so much fun stuff to play with.

1333
01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:04,283
You're not using your hands.

1334
01:10:09,163 --> 01:10:10,706
MELISSA:
Kenny?

1335
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:15,294
- No, Melissa... It's, uh...
- I'm sorry.

1336
01:10:15,503 --> 01:10:17,004
KENNY:
Melissa, wait.

1337
01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:19,215
Fuck.

1338
01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:23,302
You know, there's a 50-50 chance
she'll be into it.

1339
01:10:23,511 --> 01:10:25,429
[WHISPERS]
Red head. They're crazy.

1340
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:37,567
Grab your things, guys.
Kenny, grab my stuff. Thanks.

1341
01:10:37,733 --> 01:10:40,152
- Here we go.
- Well, looks like you're ready to roll.

1342
01:10:40,319 --> 01:10:43,990
Gary called me first thing. He seemed real
eager for y'all to come pick her up.

1343
01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:46,826
- Good. Good, good, good. Okay.
- Guess this is it, then.

1344
01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:49,754
- Good luck to you, David.
- Hey, thank you, Don. Take care, will you?

1345
01:10:49,912 --> 01:10:53,499
Hey, yeah, listen, I would appreciate it
if you kept what happened last night...

1346
01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:55,960
all that Chinese
vibrator talk, between us.

1347
01:10:56,127 --> 01:10:59,171
- Yeah.
- If folks at my church found out about that...

1348
01:10:59,338 --> 01:11:02,925
Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. I get it. Yeah.
No, say no more. Mum's the word, okay?

1349
01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:04,212
Before you go running off...

1350
01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:06,679
- Yeah?
- Well, last night notwithstanding...

1351
01:11:06,846 --> 01:11:09,724
things bedroom-wise between me
and Mrs. Fitzgerald...

1352
01:11:09,891 --> 01:11:12,977
- haven't been a real five-alarm fire of late.
- Okay.

1353
01:11:13,144 --> 01:11:16,606
Now that I'm not working as much, we have
a chance to light the flame again...

1354
01:11:16,772 --> 01:11:19,692
- but our matches are wet.
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

1355
01:11:19,859 --> 01:11:23,070
- If you catch my drift.
- I do, yeah.

1356
01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:25,072
Yeah, the matches are genitals. I get it.

1357
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:28,034
No, I was talking about our passion.

1358
01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:30,286
Right. Sorry, sorry. Of course.
That's the way...

1359
01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:32,079
- That's okay. That's all right.
- Yeah.

1360
01:11:32,246 --> 01:11:33,915
So we've been looking for new ideas...

1361
01:11:34,081 --> 01:11:37,084
and she read on the internet
about this finger thing...

1362
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:40,463
- Don, you don't need to share that with me.
- No, no, it's okay. I want to.

1363
01:11:40,630 --> 01:11:42,214
Okay, as long as you're comfortable.

1364
01:11:42,381 --> 01:11:43,925
- I need your advice, David.
- Mm-hm.

1365
01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:47,053
You and Rose seem hotter for each other
than a couple mice...

1366
01:11:47,219 --> 01:11:49,263
having sexual congress in a wool sock.

1367
01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,349
- We do?
- Yeah.

1368
01:11:51,515 --> 01:11:54,310
You're like newlyweds,
the way you keep looking at each other.

1369
01:11:54,936 --> 01:11:57,396
- We are?
- Yeah. I guess I just wanna know...

1370
01:11:57,563 --> 01:12:02,526
what do you do to keep things exciting
after years in the same fishing hole?

1371
01:12:02,693 --> 01:12:04,820
- Hmm.
- What's your secret?

1372
01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:06,405
Right.

1373
01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:08,658
- And by fishing hole you mean...
- Genitals.

1374
01:12:08,824 --> 01:12:10,076
That's genitals. Okay. Um.

1375
01:12:10,242 --> 01:12:13,371
Yeah, urn, my secret? Uh...

1376
01:12:14,288 --> 01:12:16,332
Well, you know what I do, Don?

1377
01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:19,126
I just treat
Rose like she's a stripper.

1378
01:12:20,503 --> 01:12:22,380
[CHUCKLES]

1379
01:12:22,546 --> 01:12:24,048
- No kidding?
- No kidding.

1380
01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:26,342
Like she's a dirty, dirty stripper.

1381
01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:30,137
Okay. Heh-heh-heh.

1382
01:12:30,304 --> 01:12:31,764
Dirtier the better. Heh.

1383
01:12:31,931 --> 01:12:34,100
- Heh, heh.
EDIE: Okay, watch your step.

1384
01:12:34,475 --> 01:12:37,103
It surprise... It sneaks up on you.

1385
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:38,729
Everyone got your bags?

1386
01:12:39,230 --> 01:12:42,858
Oh. I am so sorry that Melissa
isn't here to say goodbye.

1387
01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:44,667
She just won't come out of that bedroom.

1388
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:47,613
You know, she's been sick to her tummy
ever since last night.

1389
01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:51,117
- I think it was something that she ate.
- Just tell her I'm really sorry.

1390
01:12:51,325 --> 01:12:52,660
- Oh, sure.
- Oh.

1391
01:12:53,119 --> 01:12:54,453
EDIE:
Sure will.

1392
01:12:56,247 --> 01:12:58,124
Oh, so sweet, kids.

1393
01:13:00,334 --> 01:13:02,420
[WHISPERS]
You'll always be my special lover.

1394
01:13:04,005 --> 01:13:06,090
OW! Oh, Edie.

1395
01:13:07,299 --> 01:13:08,509
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Bye!

1396
01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:11,554
- Happy birthday, America!
- Bye!

1397
01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:13,514
- See ya, now!
- Bye-bye, now.

1398
01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:15,683
[DAVID CHUCKLING]

1399
01:13:15,891 --> 01:13:17,560
- Thank you.
- Bye.

1400
01:13:17,768 --> 01:13:21,564
Let's get out of here. You guys, go to
the RV. I'll get the keys from Skeeter.

1401
01:13:26,027 --> 01:13:27,445
Hello?!

1402
01:13:28,612 --> 01:13:30,698
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

1403
01:13:31,991 --> 01:13:33,784
Hey, Brad, I was just gonna call you.

1404
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,203
Where are you?
Thought you'd be here by now.

1405
01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:37,788
<i>I told you I needed it today.</i>

1406
01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:41,459
No, I know that. No, we just had a little
bit of engine trouble's all, okay?

1407
01:13:41,625 --> 01:13:45,921
We're gonna be on the road in five minutes,
at your front door in just a few hours, okay?

1408
01:13:46,088 --> 01:13:47,798
Nothing stopping us now.

1409
01:13:48,257 --> 01:13:49,675
What the fuck?

1410
01:13:51,761 --> 01:13:53,387
Hand me the phone.

1411
01:13:53,554 --> 01:13:55,973
Uh, Brad, can you hold on for a sec?

1412
01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:58,309
All right, let's not do anything rash.

1413
01:13:58,684 --> 01:14:01,187
- I'm David, what's your name?
- Pablo Chacon.

1414
01:14:01,353 --> 01:14:03,481
Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop.

1415
01:14:03,647 --> 01:14:06,358
- Hola, Brad.
- Pablo!

1416
01:14:06,525 --> 01:14:08,027
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

1417
01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:11,030
You send this amateur fuck-up
to steal from me?

1418
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:13,908
Listen, I don't know
what David told you... Hello?

1419
01:14:14,992 --> 01:14:17,661
I would have loved to say good-bye to him.

1420
01:14:24,877 --> 01:14:25,920
Pablo Chacon.

1421
01:14:26,754 --> 01:14:29,799
Turns out there's a real Pablo Chacon
and we stole from him.

1422
01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:33,803
So this is probably gonna end well,
I would imagine.

1423
01:14:35,805 --> 01:14:38,015
I'll be right back.

1424
01:14:38,516 --> 01:14:39,558
No rush.

1425
01:14:41,268 --> 01:14:44,480
I thought you said we were
picking up drugs for Pablo Chacon.

1426
01:14:44,647 --> 01:14:47,274
I thought we were.
Brad told me he was Pablo Chacon.

1427
01:14:47,441 --> 01:14:49,693
ROSE: Why do you trust that guy?
DAVID: I don't, okay?

1428
01:14:49,860 --> 01:14:52,154
Can you guys stop bickering
for five seconds?

1429
01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,490
Okay, how did he even find us?

1430
01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:56,116
- We don't know.
- I don't know.

1431
01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:57,576
PABLO:
With this.

1432
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:02,540
Cool, is that a transmitter?
That's like a...

1433
01:15:02,748 --> 01:15:04,959
You put that in the RV, huh?
In one of the bags?

1434
01:15:05,125 --> 01:15:09,338
- How could you not think of that?
- Because I don't know what I'm doing!

1435
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,799
- Have you not figured that out?
- Silence!

1436
01:15:15,052 --> 01:15:16,595
You all die now.

1437
01:15:16,762 --> 01:15:19,098
But together as a family, with honor.

1438
01:15:19,807 --> 01:15:24,186
But we're not even a real family, okay?
I don't even know these people.

1439
01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:25,604
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

1440
01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:29,011
She's right. That's absolutely right. No,
no. We're not related at all, any of us.

1441
01:15:29,149 --> 01:15:30,526
No. We're just friends.

1442
01:15:30,693 --> 01:15:32,570
- No, we're not...
- We are not friends!

1443
01:15:32,736 --> 01:15:35,155
Look, I'm just a small-time
fucking drug dealer.

1444
01:15:35,322 --> 01:15:36,699
I sell dime bags, all right?

1445
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:40,494
My daughter here
is just a homeless gutter punk, all right?

1446
01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:44,874
And my son is just a fucking dork that
lives in my building. We don't look alike!

1447
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,710
ROSE: Not related.
- A virgin, okay? And my "wife"?

1448
01:15:48,168 --> 01:15:49,962
I mean, she's just a cheap stripper.

1449
01:15:50,129 --> 01:15:52,089
Hey, thanks, David. Nice.

1450
01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,800
DAVID: We will not do anything if...
- Wait, wait. Heh.

1451
01:15:54,967 --> 01:15:57,845
In the Capri pants and the sensible
footwear, a stripper?

1452
01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:00,180
Yes.

1453
01:16:01,223 --> 01:16:02,349
That's right, I am...

1454
01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:04,894
Mr. Chacon.

1455
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:07,938
Just give me one chance...

1456
01:16:08,105 --> 01:16:13,193
to prove to you that I'm worth
way more alive than I am dead.

1457
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,198
[AEROSMITH'S "SWEET EMOTION"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

1458
01:16:20,701 --> 01:16:25,289
<i>Sweet</i>

1459
01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:30,169
<i>Emotion</i>

1460
01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:33,130
<i>Talk about things
And nobody cares</i>

1461
01:16:35,633 --> 01:16:38,010
<i>Wearing hot things
That nobody wears</i>

1462
01:16:45,225 --> 01:16:48,312
<i>Some sweat hog knew
She's a real good liar</i>

1463
01:16:49,897 --> 01:16:53,067
<i>'Cause the backstage boogie
Set your pants on fire</i>

1464
01:16:57,821 --> 01:17:01,742
<i>Sweet</i>

1465
01:17:01,909 --> 01:17:06,497
<i>Emotion</i>

1466
01:17:06,664 --> 01:17:11,418
<i>Sweet</i>

1467
01:17:11,585 --> 01:17:15,339
<i>Emotion</i>

1468
01:17:16,423 --> 01:17:19,385
<i>You stand in the front
Just a shakin' your ass</i>

1469
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:24,598
<i>I'll take you backstage
You'll be drinking my glass</i>

1470
01:17:26,225 --> 01:17:29,353
<i>I'm talkin' about something
You can sure understand</i>

1471
01:17:43,909 --> 01:17:46,078
Have some respect, it's your mother.

1472
01:18:17,735 --> 01:18:19,194
[PABLO SCREAMS]

1473
01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:20,779
DAVID:
Get in the RV! Go, go, go!

1474
01:18:21,739 --> 01:18:23,615
[GRUNTS]

1475
01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:29,496
Why are we fighting?

1476
01:18:34,585 --> 01:18:36,253
- Do you know how to drive this?
- No.

1477
01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:38,505
No weapons. Here we go.

1478
01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:40,883
CASEY: Hurry!
KENNY: I don't know how it works.

1479
01:18:41,091 --> 01:18:43,302
[BOTH YELL
THEN ONE-EYE GRUNTS]

1480
01:18:43,510 --> 01:18:44,845
CASEY:
Fuck!

1481
01:18:49,558 --> 01:18:52,269
- What just happened?
- I knocked him out. Let's go.

1482
01:18:52,478 --> 01:18:53,645
- You did not.
- Yes, I did.

1483
01:18:57,733 --> 01:18:59,234
Come on, Rose, come on. Come on!

1484
01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:03,989
- Look out!
- Oh, no, please.

1485
01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:12,456
Kenny! Kenny, give me the wheel!

1486
01:19:12,664 --> 01:19:14,041
No, do not pull over!

1487
01:19:15,334 --> 01:19:18,045
Go this way!
No, no, no. Don't get on the freeway.

1488
01:19:18,253 --> 01:19:20,672
- Kenny, just let me in.
KENNY: I can't. I'll stop.

1489
01:19:20,881 --> 01:19:22,341
DAVID:
Don't stop! You can't stop.

1490
01:19:22,549 --> 01:19:23,842
Goddamn it, will you let go?

1491
01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:25,969
No, no, no, no!
You're gonna get us killed!

1492
01:19:26,178 --> 01:19:27,221
[HORN HONKING]

1493
01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:29,848
[ALL SHOUTING]

1494
01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:32,684
DAVID: All right, just get out of the way.
KENNY: I can't.

1495
01:19:33,811 --> 01:19:36,396
[ALL SCREAMING]

1496
01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:45,823
Is everybody okay?

1497
01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:47,825
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine. What...?

1498
01:19:48,033 --> 01:19:49,076
ROSE:
Fuck.

1499
01:19:51,495 --> 01:19:54,373
Fuck!

1500
01:19:54,873 --> 01:19:56,166
Ow! Shit! Fuck, fucking...

1501
01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:58,460
Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow!

1502
01:19:58,627 --> 01:20:01,421
- Oh, my God. Fucking shit! Fuck!
DAVID: What the hell is he doing?

1503
01:20:01,588 --> 01:20:03,715
Fuck a donkey! It hurts so much.

1504
01:20:03,882 --> 01:20:06,218
Settle down, man.
What the hell's going on?

1505
01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:08,303
Oh, my God! I'm gonna die.

1506
01:20:08,470 --> 01:20:10,472
Kenny, listen to me.
Calm down, all right?

1507
01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:12,474
Not gonna die. Tell us what's going on.

1508
01:20:12,641 --> 01:20:15,185
- Tell us what happened.
- Fucking spider bit me, David!

1509
01:20:15,352 --> 01:20:17,938
- What? Where did it happen?
- Bit me on my balls.

1510
01:20:18,438 --> 01:20:21,900
On my fucking balls. On my balls,
on my fucking balls!

1511
01:20:22,067 --> 01:20:23,986
Oh, God. Let me see.
Kenny, let me see it.

1512
01:20:24,153 --> 01:20:26,738
No. No fucking way. You're not seeing it.

1513
01:20:26,905 --> 01:20:30,659
Come on. I can't help you unless you
show me. Sweetie, just show it to me.

1514
01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:33,120
Kenny, will you just man up
and drop your pants?

1515
01:20:33,287 --> 01:20:34,955
We've all seen a dick.

1516
01:20:40,127 --> 01:20:41,545
DAVID:
All right, let's see it.

1517
01:20:42,588 --> 01:20:43,797
[ROSE GASPS]

1518
01:20:43,964 --> 01:20:46,466
What? What is it?
What does it look like?

1519
01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:48,468
- I can't look.
- Um...

1520
01:20:48,635 --> 01:20:51,555
- ls it bad?
- Hey, listen to me. It's not that bad.

1521
01:20:51,722 --> 01:20:53,891
- Dude, it's really bad.
- No, it isn't.

1522
01:20:54,057 --> 01:20:56,643
- Have you seen what that... Look.
- I'm not gonna look.

1523
01:20:56,810 --> 01:20:59,980
- You're going to a hospital.
- What? No. No fucking way.

1524
01:21:00,147 --> 01:21:01,315
How bad is it?

1525
01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:04,526
You're okay. Rub some dirt
on it. Let's get back in the RV.

1526
01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:07,321
No. You're going to see a doctor.

1527
01:21:07,487 --> 01:21:09,615
No fucking way.
No, absolutely not, Rose.

1528
01:21:09,781 --> 01:21:12,367
He's not going to a hospital.
We don't have time.

1529
01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:14,703
Trust me. Kenny is fine.

1530
01:21:14,870 --> 01:21:17,414
I can't feel my bingo.

1531
01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:22,461
- Goddamn it, Kenny.
- Yeah. Totally fine.

1532
01:21:22,628 --> 01:21:25,672
- Go grab him. Grab him!
- If he's dead, we're leaving him.

1533
01:21:32,554 --> 01:21:36,475
Yeah, this is David Mille... David Clark,
calling for Mr. Gurdlinger again.

1534
01:21:37,517 --> 01:21:39,186
Yes, I'll hold.

1535
01:21:39,561 --> 01:21:42,397
Who's my big black and white baby? Yeah.

1536
01:21:43,190 --> 01:21:45,150
You are. Yes, you are.

1537
01:21:45,317 --> 01:21:46,735
[BABBLING]

1538
01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:49,529
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]

1539
01:21:49,696 --> 01:21:51,490
- Yellow-ski.
- Oh, hello, Brad.

1540
01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:54,451
Where the fuck have you been?
I left you five messages, man!

1541
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:58,497
David! You're alive! Cool.
How'd that happen?

1542
01:21:58,664 --> 01:22:00,457
Ask the real Pablo Chacon.

1543
01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:02,000
<i>I'm not gonna make excuses.</i>

1544
01:22:02,459 --> 01:22:03,919
It was kind of a dick move.

1545
01:22:04,628 --> 01:22:06,672
<i>- "A dick move"?</i> A <i>dick</i> move!
<i>- Little bit.</i>

1546
01:22:07,089 --> 01:22:08,548
Little bit of a dick move.

1547
01:22:08,715 --> 01:22:11,426
Well, tell you what. I'm not driving
another fucking mile.

1548
01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:15,764
<i>All right? I want god-damn hazard pay from
your ass. Otherwise, I'll turn around...</i>

1549
01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:19,893
and give this smidge of pot back to
Chacon, along with your fucking address.

1550
01:22:20,060 --> 01:22:21,103
<i>Do you understand me?</i>

1551
01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:23,522
Sounds like you're
threatening to double-cross me.

1552
01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:25,482
Fucking right I am.

1553
01:22:25,649 --> 01:22:27,609
And I'm kind of turned on right now.

1554
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,946
<i>You make a good case for hazard pay.
How much you want?</i>

1555
01:22:31,113 --> 01:22:33,907
How much? Oh, I don't know,
half a million dollars.

1556
01:22:34,074 --> 01:22:35,367
<i>- How about that?
- Done.</i>

1557
01:22:36,576 --> 01:22:38,245
Fucking right, it's done. Good.

1558
01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:41,331
But I need it here by tonight
or the deal is off.

1559
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:43,583
No problem. That's fine with me.

1560
01:22:43,750 --> 01:22:45,460
<i>Where the hell are you, anyway?</i>

1561
01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:50,716
We're at the Corrales Regional Medical
Center in Buttfuck, New Mexico.

1562
01:22:50,882 --> 01:22:52,259
<i>- Why?
- Why? Why?</i>

1563
01:22:52,426 --> 01:22:56,013
Because this god-damn Kenny kid got his
fucking nuts bit by a giant spider.

1564
01:22:56,179 --> 01:22:59,391
That is amazing. Will you let me know
if he develops super powers?

1565
01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:02,060
Listen, man, giddy up, okay? Tick-took.

1566
01:23:02,602 --> 01:23:04,938
Tick-took. Okay.

1567
01:23:05,147 --> 01:23:06,315
[PHONE BEEPS]

1568
01:23:06,481 --> 01:23:07,858
[LINE RINGING]

1569
01:23:08,567 --> 01:23:10,944
Hola, Pablo. <i>Es</i> Brad.

1570
01:23:11,111 --> 01:23:14,031
Okay. Here me out.
I wanna ask you something.

1571
01:23:21,079 --> 01:23:22,831
Scottie? The doctor will see you now.

1572
01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,378
SCOTTIE:
Text me, girl. I gotta bounce.

1573
01:23:29,004 --> 01:23:30,213
Know what I'm saying?

1574
01:23:32,507 --> 01:23:36,011
Oh, God. Really? That guy?

1575
01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:39,348
- What? He's hot.
- Okay.

1576
01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:41,183
"I gotta bounce."

1577
01:23:42,476 --> 01:23:44,311
- Miller family?
ROSE: Yeah.

1578
01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:47,230
Hi. Hello, how are you?

1579
01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:50,108
Oh, great. What's the news,
doc, huh? Can we get going?

1580
01:23:50,317 --> 01:23:52,069
- He's about to tell us.
- Oh, good.

1581
01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:56,031
I'm afraid your son had a pretty severe
allergic reaction to the spider's venom.

1582
01:23:56,239 --> 01:23:58,241
Ooh. Too bad. Better get him home.
Where is he?

1583
01:23:58,450 --> 01:24:02,537
He's in a lot of pain right now, we won't
be able to release him for a few hours yet.

1584
01:24:02,746 --> 01:24:04,581
[DAVID GROANS]

1585
01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:07,209
- Why?
ROSE: David? David, David! Stop it.

1586
01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:09,669
Please. Continue.

1587
01:24:10,629 --> 01:24:12,422
Uh, he's on an IV
to get some antibiotics...

1588
01:24:12,631 --> 01:24:13,673
[SNORES]

1589
01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:16,385
Who the fuck cares, man?
Okay? We got shit to do.

1590
01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:19,638
Go get my son and bring him
and his giant nut out here right now.

1591
01:24:19,846 --> 01:24:23,225
Stop it. Doctor, thank you.
I appreciate you taking care of our son.

1592
01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:27,062
- Thank you very much.
- Sure. You seem like a very caring father.

1593
01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:31,233
- What is your fucking problem?
- What?!

1594
01:24:31,441 --> 01:24:33,944
Are you crazy? It's only a few hours.
We'll be fine.

1595
01:24:34,152 --> 01:24:35,404
No, we're not fine. Okay?

1596
01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:38,573
We'll be dead in a few hours.
You forget who's following us?

1597
01:24:38,782 --> 01:24:41,118
Look, here's what I say we do, all right?

1598
01:24:41,618 --> 01:24:44,246
We leave him here,
and then we just keep going, all right?

1599
01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:47,374
So you're saying that the three
of us, we just leave him here.

1600
01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:51,461
No! No, no, no. We don't leave him here.
No. Absolutely not. No, we leave...

1601
01:24:51,711 --> 01:24:53,088
with him here.

1602
01:24:56,049 --> 01:24:57,092
(0K8)'-

1603
01:25:03,098 --> 01:25:05,434
You know, if we leave Kenny here,
it really isn't...

1604
01:25:06,101 --> 01:25:07,144
Ah.

1605
01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:10,063
No. I don't know where I was going
with that. That's stupid.

1606
01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:11,565
Seriously.

1607
01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:13,775
[BANGING ON DOOR]

1608
01:25:13,984 --> 01:25:15,360
- What's that?
- I don't know.

1609
01:25:15,569 --> 01:25:18,321
CASEY: Don't answer it! It's for me!
- What?

1610
01:25:19,281 --> 01:25:20,323
What's up, dawg?

1611
01:25:20,740 --> 01:25:22,325
Not much, dawg. What's up with you?

1612
01:25:22,534 --> 01:25:24,494
Here to pick up Casey,
know what I'm saying?

1613
01:25:24,703 --> 01:25:27,205
I'm awake and I speak English,
so, yeah, I do know.

1614
01:25:28,373 --> 01:25:31,543
- What's your name, man?
- Scottie P., you know what I'm saying? Ha-ha.

1615
01:25:32,377 --> 01:25:34,129
Again, I do know what you're saying.

1616
01:25:34,337 --> 01:25:36,798
But I appreciate you continuing
to check in with me.

1617
01:25:37,007 --> 01:25:39,593
- Hi! Bye. We're gonna go.
- Whoa, wait!

1618
01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:42,053
- Where do you think you're going?
- Out.

1619
01:25:42,679 --> 01:25:44,681
I have just made lunch.

1620
01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:47,184
- When are you coming back?
- I don't know, later.

1621
01:25:47,392 --> 01:25:49,269
DAVID:
No! Hey, stop! Stop, listen to me.

1622
01:25:49,478 --> 01:25:51,271
Once Kenny is ready, we're out of here.

1623
01:25:51,480 --> 01:25:54,941
We will leave with or without you.
If you're not here, we're gone. Got it?

1624
01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:57,235
Okay, fine. That's totally fine.

1625
01:25:57,444 --> 01:26:00,363
Wait. Come here.
I'd like to have a chat with your friend.

1626
01:26:00,572 --> 01:26:02,991
- Are you kidding me?
- I am not kidding you.

1627
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:04,618
Would you please have a seat.

1628
01:26:05,702 --> 01:26:06,995
What is going on?

1629
01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:17,214
So, Scottie P.,
what exactly do you do for a living?

1630
01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:20,425
- Oh, Morn!
SCOTTIE: I work for A <i>and</i> J Amusements.

1631
01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:23,094
I'm rocking that Monkey Maze,
you know what I'm saying?

1632
01:26:23,261 --> 01:26:27,557
- What the hell is the Monkey Maze?
- Oh, it's like a Terrifying Deathtrap...

1633
01:26:27,724 --> 01:26:29,100
but for little kids.

1634
01:26:29,309 --> 01:26:31,561
You're working at the fair. You're a carny.

1635
01:26:31,728 --> 01:26:34,314
No, I drive a motorcycle.

1636
01:26:34,481 --> 01:26:35,857
- Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.

1637
01:26:36,024 --> 01:26:37,234
Yeah.

1638
01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:41,321
What about you guys? Where you, uh,
stopping in from, you know what I'm saying?

1639
01:26:41,488 --> 01:26:43,490
- Uh, D-town.
- Oh, Detroit.

1640
01:26:43,657 --> 01:26:46,076
No, no, no. The other one.

1641
01:26:46,243 --> 01:26:47,953
D-town. The other D-town.

1642
01:26:48,119 --> 01:26:50,497
- Denver...?
- That's the one. There you go.

1643
01:26:50,664 --> 01:26:52,040
- Colorado.
DAVID: That's the one.

1644
01:26:52,207 --> 01:26:54,417
Yeah, I love my Rockies,
you know what I'm saying?

1645
01:26:54,584 --> 01:26:56,670
Oh, you like the Rockies?
You're a baseball fan?

1646
01:26:57,587 --> 01:26:59,965
- Uh, no, the mountains.
- Of course.

1647
01:27:01,341 --> 01:27:02,801
Hey, those are cool tats, man.

1648
01:27:02,968 --> 01:27:05,136
Oh, for real. Thank you, bro.
You see the cobra?

1649
01:27:05,512 --> 01:27:07,681
- What's this? The one right there?
- Oh, this?

1650
01:27:07,847 --> 01:27:09,266
DAVID:
Uh-huh.

1651
01:27:09,432 --> 01:27:11,351
That's my credo. "No regrets."

1652
01:27:11,518 --> 01:27:14,396
Mm-hm. How about that.

1653
01:27:15,105 --> 01:27:17,065
- You have no regrets?
- Nope.

1654
01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:20,860
- Not one?
- Nope. Ha, ha.

1655
01:27:21,027 --> 01:27:23,488
I wish I did. To talk about something.

1656
01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:24,739
Not one regret, huh?

1657
01:27:24,906 --> 01:27:27,075
That's how I been living my whole life.

1658
01:27:27,242 --> 01:27:29,286
I went to a tattoo artist, I was like:

1659
01:27:29,452 --> 01:27:31,621
"This how I live.
Can you put that on my body?"

1660
01:27:31,788 --> 01:27:33,331
- And he did it.
- Dad.

1661
01:27:33,498 --> 01:27:36,584
- Not even a single letter?
- No, I can't think of one.

1662
01:27:36,751 --> 01:27:39,587
- I love all the letters, know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.

1663
01:27:39,754 --> 01:27:41,798
A lot of letters in the alphabet.
How many?

1664
01:27:41,965 --> 01:27:44,926
- It's in the 20s.
- It's definitely in the 20s, I agree.

1665
01:27:45,093 --> 01:27:47,554
Twenty-six, I think, if you count Y.

1666
01:27:47,721 --> 01:27:50,807
- Do you have any questions for us, Scottie P?
- Dad.

1667
01:27:51,516 --> 01:27:54,436
- How did you make her so hot?
- What's that?

1668
01:27:54,936 --> 01:27:57,647
- Uh, Casey.
- Aw, that's very sweet of you.

1669
01:27:57,814 --> 01:28:00,150
He wants to know
how we made Casey so hot.

1670
01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:03,611
- It's, uh...
- You guys had to...

1671
01:28:03,778 --> 01:28:06,281
DAVID: What'd you ask us?
- seminate, like, each other?

1672
01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:08,283
Uh-� Sorry?

1673
01:28:08,450 --> 01:28:11,090
- [MOUTHS] Oh, my God.
- Like, is there a way to make them, like...

1674
01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:12,287
attractive? Like, kids?

1675
01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:15,582
- Doggie style. Know what I mean?
SCOTTIE: Dope.

1676
01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,250
[LAUGHS]

1677
01:28:17,459 --> 01:28:21,254
- Dad.
- Well, I love him. I think he's great.

1678
01:28:21,421 --> 01:28:24,132
A real winner.
If I were you, I wouldn't use protection.

1679
01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:25,800
Scottie P., you're the man.

1680
01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:27,927
- Yo, for real. Thanks, man.
- We're leaving. Bye!

1681
01:28:28,678 --> 01:28:31,038
- Nice meeting you. You do you, Scottie P.
SCOTTIE: You too.

1682
01:28:33,892 --> 01:28:35,727
[ENGINE REVVING]

1683
01:28:37,604 --> 01:28:39,314
ROSE:
Casey, make good choices!

1684
01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:43,985
Come on, she's gonna be fine.

1685
01:28:44,194 --> 01:28:46,863
Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet.

1686
01:28:47,614 --> 01:28:49,574
Actually, she might already be pregnant.

1687
01:28:56,331 --> 01:28:59,042
I cannot believe her.
Where the hell is she?

1688
01:28:59,250 --> 01:29:02,921
Look who is concerned about someone
other than themselves.

1689
01:29:03,129 --> 01:29:05,090
What? I just want to get back on
the road.

1690
01:29:05,298 --> 01:29:06,633
No, I know.

1691
01:29:07,008 --> 01:29:08,760
That kid was a dickhead, huh?

1692
01:29:08,968 --> 01:29:10,261
- Right?
- Know what I'm saying?

1693
01:29:10,470 --> 01:29:13,390
- Ha! Jerk.
- Unbelievable.

1694
01:29:13,598 --> 01:29:15,934
Must get her shitty taste in men
from her mother.

1695
01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:21,731
I'm sorry. It was a cheap shot.

1696
01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:24,359
Cheap shot, okay? I'm taking it back.

1697
01:29:25,318 --> 01:29:28,822
I'm sure your boyfriend Jimmy
is very nice.

1698
01:29:29,030 --> 01:29:31,866
He seems like a very good guy.

1699
01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:34,828
Well, he's not. He left.

1700
01:29:35,328 --> 01:29:38,623
Maxed out all my credit cards,
cleaned out my bank account...

1701
01:29:38,832 --> 01:29:40,250
jetted out of town.

1702
01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:45,004
He stole my favorite mug. Which was
a pretty shitty thing to do. Even for him.

1703
01:29:45,213 --> 01:29:47,632
- I'm really sorry about that. That sucks.
- Whatever.

1704
01:29:47,882 --> 01:29:50,802
That's what you get
for dating a guy who dates strippers.

1705
01:29:51,344 --> 01:29:52,387
Ah, come on.

1706
01:29:52,595 --> 01:29:54,764
You're a lot more than that, Rose,
and you know it.

1707
01:29:55,974 --> 01:29:57,976
[CHUCKLES]

1708
01:29:58,184 --> 01:30:01,020
- What?
- Rose is not even my real name.

1709
01:30:02,981 --> 01:30:04,315
What's your real name?

1710
01:30:05,733 --> 01:30:06,901
Sarah.

1711
01:30:07,694 --> 01:30:08,820
With an "h"?

1712
01:30:09,154 --> 01:30:11,489
Yep. Right there at the end.

1713
01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:13,241
It's the best way to spell it.

1714
01:30:13,450 --> 01:30:16,327
- That's what my mother thought. Heh.
- Heh.

1715
01:30:18,413 --> 01:30:20,206
Well, David's not my real name either.

1716
01:30:20,623 --> 01:30:23,376
- Really?
- I'm being serious.

1717
01:30:24,669 --> 01:30:27,338
Wow. So you're being ser...

1718
01:30:27,547 --> 01:30:30,550
Well, so then, what's your real name?

1719
01:30:30,925 --> 01:30:32,051
Barbara.

1720
01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:34,471
- Barbara?
- Yeah, named after my morn.

1721
01:30:34,679 --> 01:30:36,973
Oh, so, what are you, like, a Barbara Jr.?

1722
01:30:38,308 --> 01:30:40,310
- You're Barbara Jr.
- You got it. Yeah, yeah.

1723
01:30:40,518 --> 01:30:43,146
My friends in high school
and grade school called me Babs.

1724
01:30:43,354 --> 01:30:44,898
Oh, scarred childhood.

1725
01:30:45,106 --> 01:30:49,027
Not really, not at all. I mean, I was in
musical theater, so I was actually revered.

1726
01:30:50,403 --> 01:30:51,446
Very funny.

1727
01:30:53,364 --> 01:30:54,824
You have a hair...

1728
01:30:56,910 --> 01:30:58,369
Yank, or put behind the ear?

1729
01:30:58,578 --> 01:30:59,787
Guess we could...

1730
01:31:00,622 --> 01:31:01,748
tuck it back there.

1731
01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:04,667
[DOOR OPENS]

1732
01:31:04,876 --> 01:31:06,961
Whoa. What's going on in here?

1733
01:31:07,545 --> 01:31:10,298
We should ask you the same thing,
young lady! Huh?

1734
01:31:10,507 --> 01:31:12,509
- We've been worried sick.
- That's right.

1735
01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:14,886
Why are you guys talking like that?

1736
01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:16,262
Shit, is someone here?

1737
01:31:16,471 --> 01:31:19,432
Yeah! Yeah, us.
We're here. That's who's here.

1738
01:31:19,766 --> 01:31:22,185
We didn't know if you were dead
in a ditch! Huh?

1739
01:31:22,393 --> 01:31:24,033
ROSE: You couldn't have called?
Something?

1740
01:31:24,187 --> 01:31:27,106
Or send one of those text messages
you're always sending out?

1741
01:31:27,315 --> 01:31:31,444
? "Hey, it's me, Casey, I'm not dead in a ?
? ditch." LOL, picture of a whale, YOLO. ?

1742
01:31:31,778 --> 01:31:33,238
- Anything!
- Okay.

1743
01:31:33,780 --> 01:31:35,198
Fine! Whatever!

1744
01:31:35,406 --> 01:31:37,033
Sorry.

1745
01:31:37,242 --> 01:31:38,493
- Whoa!
- Thank you!

1746
01:31:38,701 --> 01:31:40,541
ROSE: Was that so hard?
DAVID: Appreciate that.

1747
01:31:40,703 --> 01:31:43,873
- She learned a new word, Rose.
ROSE: Thank God. "I'm sorry."

1748
01:31:44,374 --> 01:31:46,209
Un-fucking-believable.

1749
01:31:46,626 --> 01:31:48,002
It's gonna be great.

1750
01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:51,047
Oh! There he is. Kenny!

1751
01:31:51,256 --> 01:31:53,716
- Okay, let's go.
- Oh, my God, you look so much better.

1752
01:31:53,925 --> 01:31:56,177
- Doesn't he?
- Like a thousand bucks. Let's go.

1753
01:31:59,013 --> 01:32:01,224
- Come on, we gotta hurry. Come on!
- Take it easy!

1754
01:32:01,432 --> 01:32:03,268
- Will you just relax?!
- Look, I can't...

1755
01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,144
ROSE: Oh, great.
- Aah!

1756
01:32:05,353 --> 01:32:07,814
ROSE: Kenny.
KENNY: That's my elbow. Oh...

1757
01:32:08,022 --> 01:32:10,233
ROSE: Are you okay?
- I think so.

1758
01:32:10,441 --> 01:32:13,069
Look what happens when you
run around like a crazy person.

1759
01:32:13,278 --> 01:32:16,281
What do mean? He's fine.
Come on, Ken-doll, hop up. Here we go.

1760
01:32:16,489 --> 01:32:18,575
- What's wrong with you?
- What's wrong with me?

1761
01:32:18,783 --> 01:32:21,411
- David!
- Look, this job has a deadline...

1762
01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:23,496
and it's in four fucking hours.

1763
01:32:23,705 --> 01:32:27,458
If you think I'm gonna lose half a million
dollars because of Kenny's boo-boos...

1764
01:32:27,667 --> 01:32:29,961
- then you're out of your mind.
- Whoa. Wait a second.

1765
01:32:30,670 --> 01:32:33,923
You're making half a million dollars
on this deal?

1766
01:32:36,259 --> 01:32:40,221
- Uh, roughly.
- I cannot believe you.

1767
01:32:40,430 --> 01:32:41,889
Listen to me. I can explain.

1768
01:32:42,098 --> 01:32:47,270
You are making $500,000
and you were only gonna pay me 30?

1769
01:32:47,478 --> 01:32:51,024
You're getting 30 grand?
I'm getting a thousand!

1770
01:32:51,566 --> 01:32:53,067
Wait, you guys are getting paid?

1771
01:32:53,276 --> 01:32:54,736
ROSE: You're a liar.
- No, no, no.

1772
01:32:54,944 --> 01:32:57,030
- We want to renegotiate.
- No. No way.

1773
01:32:57,238 --> 01:32:58,573
- What? David.
DAVID: No. No way.

1774
01:32:58,781 --> 01:33:02,910
You made your deal with me, I made my
deal with Brad. We're getting outta here.

1775
01:33:03,870 --> 01:33:07,248
See? Good. Casey gets it.
We're not renegotiating now. Let's go.

1776
01:33:07,457 --> 01:33:11,252
I believe we are, right now, because you
wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us.

1777
01:33:11,461 --> 01:33:12,629
You're right about that.

1778
01:33:12,837 --> 01:33:15,548
I'd be in Denver now if it wasn't
for you slowing me down.

1779
01:33:15,757 --> 01:33:19,177
Are you shitting...? Slowing you down?
What the hell are you talking...?

1780
01:33:19,802 --> 01:33:22,013
Whoa, where the hell are you going?
Hey, hey!

1781
01:33:22,221 --> 01:33:24,057
Hey, I said where are you going?

1782
01:33:24,265 --> 01:33:26,309
You know what? You leave,
you get nothing.

1783
01:33:26,517 --> 01:33:27,977
I don't want your money, okay?

1784
01:33:28,186 --> 01:33:31,022
Casey, come back.
We have to stay together.

1785
01:33:31,230 --> 01:33:32,774
- Come on!
- Why?

1786
01:33:33,524 --> 01:33:34,942
Because we're a family? Huh?

1787
01:33:35,401 --> 01:33:38,404
You want to spend Christmas together?
Help me with my homework?

1788
01:33:38,738 --> 01:33:41,699
Please. This whole thing
has been a total joke.

1789
01:33:42,700 --> 01:33:45,870
Oh, no, I'll tell you what the joke is!
You want to know what the...?

1790
01:33:46,871 --> 01:33:47,997
"The I"

1791
01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:50,083
I'm not gonna tell you the joke!

1792
01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:53,461
You don't deserve to hear the joke!
Let's go.

1793
01:33:53,670 --> 01:33:56,089
- I don't think you knew the joke.
- I knew a joke.

1794
01:33:56,297 --> 01:33:57,965
We have to go back and get her.

1795
01:33:58,174 --> 01:34:00,677
What? Are you kidding me?
She left! Screw her, okay?

1796
01:34:00,885 --> 01:34:02,553
Are you coming with me or not, Rose?

1797
01:34:04,055 --> 01:34:07,433
Fine. I'll slide your check
under your door. Kenny, let's go.

1798
01:34:09,185 --> 01:34:10,728
Kenny, come on! Let's go, man.

1799
01:34:10,937 --> 01:34:13,523
We can't leave her, David. It's not right.

1800
01:34:16,234 --> 01:34:17,610
- You know what?
- What?

1801
01:34:17,985 --> 01:34:19,779
You all deserve each other.

1802
01:34:22,699 --> 01:34:23,991
Da... Wha...?

1803
01:34:35,002 --> 01:34:36,337
He'll come back.

1804
01:34:37,046 --> 01:34:38,089
Right?

1805
01:34:59,318 --> 01:35:00,361
SCOTTIE:
Yo, girl!

1806
01:35:02,196 --> 01:35:04,574
- I got your text. What's up?
- Hey.

1807
01:35:04,741 --> 01:35:05,992
Are you alone?

1808
01:35:06,534 --> 01:35:10,413
Yeah. You think we can go someplace
private and talk?

1809
01:35:11,289 --> 01:35:14,709
I know just the spot,
you know what I'm saying? Heh-heh.

1810
01:35:15,376 --> 01:35:18,045
[BRAD SINGING SCALES]

1811
01:35:20,339 --> 01:35:23,176
- A little better.
- See, you're not in synch with what I'm doing.

1812
01:35:23,342 --> 01:35:26,262
I'm just playing a major scale,
but, um, we can move it down.

1813
01:35:26,429 --> 01:35:27,722
- Let's move it.
- Shitty scale.

1814
01:35:27,889 --> 01:35:29,348
Stop talking. Just shut the fuck up.

1815
01:35:29,515 --> 01:35:30,933
[PHONE BUZZING]

1816
01:35:31,476 --> 01:35:33,019
<i>- Hey, what's up?
- Hey,</i> Brad.

1817
01:35:33,186 --> 01:35:36,230
I'm just getting some singing lessons
from my main man Ben Folds Five.

1818
01:35:36,397 --> 01:35:39,817
- Ain't that right, Ben Folds Five?
- My name is Ben Folds.

1819
01:35:39,984 --> 01:35:41,736
"Five" is the name of the band.

1820
01:35:41,903 --> 01:35:43,654
You're fucking with me. I love it.

1821
01:35:43,821 --> 01:35:47,116
You gotta meet this guy.
Benji Five is a laugh riot.

1822
01:35:47,283 --> 01:35:49,163
<i>Remember that song "Brick"
we used to listen to?</i>

1823
01:35:49,285 --> 01:35:53,456
<i>[SINGING]
She's</i> a <i>brick and I'm drowning slowly</i>

1824
01:35:53,623 --> 01:35:56,417
<i>It's... I've got... It's that guy.
I fucking got that guy.</i>

1825
01:35:56,584 --> 01:35:58,169
He's like my personal bitch.

1826
01:35:58,336 --> 01:36:00,588
- Listen, is everything okay?
- Yeah.

1827
01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:02,757
Yeah, yeah. Uh, things are fine.

1828
01:36:02,924 --> 01:36:05,885
I'm about 200 miles away.
I'll be there in three hours, all right?

1829
01:36:06,052 --> 01:36:09,555
- All right. Peace.
- Agh, fucking asshole.

1830
01:36:09,722 --> 01:36:11,057
Scales. Let's do this.

1831
01:36:11,224 --> 01:36:12,600
This gig sucks.

1832
01:36:12,767 --> 01:36:14,811
Don't talk to me like that.
I will have you killed.

1833
01:36:14,977 --> 01:36:16,813
And no one will miss
your fucking nerd music.

1834
01:36:21,651 --> 01:36:23,820
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

1835
01:36:26,405 --> 01:36:28,157
<i>MAN [ON RADIO]:
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!</i>

1836
01:36:28,366 --> 01:36:29,992
Great. That's loud.

1837
01:36:31,202 --> 01:36:33,996
[TLC'S "WATERFALLS"
PLAYING ON RADIO]

1838
01:36:34,205 --> 01:36:36,499
[CHUCKLES]

1839
01:36:36,707 --> 01:36:37,917
[MUSIC STOPS]

1840
01:36:38,125 --> 01:36:41,337
Yeah, nice try, radio. Nice try. Heh.

1841
01:36:42,004 --> 01:36:43,756
Okay. Ahem.

1842
01:36:43,965 --> 01:36:45,174
Let's get there.

1843
01:36:47,760 --> 01:36:49,554
H00.

1844
01:36:51,013 --> 01:36:52,223
Quiet.

1845
01:36:59,105 --> 01:37:00,773
And I knew better too.

1846
01:37:00,982 --> 01:37:03,317
But we were all on the road together...

1847
01:37:03,526 --> 01:37:06,320
and it got kind of fun, you know?

1848
01:37:07,154 --> 01:37:08,197
Yeah. Uh-huh.

1849
01:37:08,781 --> 01:37:11,659
And I started thinking of us as kind of
like this...

1850
01:37:13,119 --> 01:37:14,704
Whatever, it's stupid.

1851
01:37:15,746 --> 01:37:18,040
- Fuck them.
- Yeah, fuck them.

1852
01:37:18,249 --> 01:37:22,461
Yo, right now, girl, Scottie P. Is gonna make
you feel real good, know what I'm saying?

1853
01:37:22,670 --> 01:37:25,047
- Ha-ha.
- Uh, heh.

1854
01:37:25,256 --> 01:37:28,342
I'm sorry, I'm just feeling kind of cry-ey
and that...

1855
01:37:29,510 --> 01:37:31,345
- I'm just gonna go, okay?
- Come on, girl.

1856
01:37:31,554 --> 01:37:33,890
- You texted me. You know what's up.
- Scottie.

1857
01:37:34,098 --> 01:37:35,308
ROSE:
Hey!

1858
01:37:35,516 --> 01:37:36,642
Get your hands off of her!

1859
01:37:36,851 --> 01:37:38,144
Come here, Casey.

1860
01:37:38,603 --> 01:37:40,187
You put your hands on her again...

1861
01:37:40,396 --> 01:37:43,065
I will rip that fucking tattoo
right off of your chest.

1862
01:37:43,274 --> 01:37:44,358
You know what I'm saying?

1863
01:37:44,567 --> 01:37:46,611
- Oh, really, bitch?
- Yeah, bitch.

1864
01:37:46,819 --> 01:37:49,864
You know what? Why don't you leave
the girls alone, man.

1865
01:37:50,072 --> 01:37:51,699
What are you gonna do, eyebrows?

1866
01:37:53,242 --> 01:37:54,660
One...

1867
01:37:55,411 --> 01:37:56,621
two...

1868
01:37:56,829 --> 01:37:58,080
[SCOTTIE GROANS]

1869
01:37:58,289 --> 01:38:00,416
SCOTTIE:
Ow! Broke my nose!

1870
01:38:01,918 --> 01:38:04,754
You're an aggressive woman.
Know what I'm saying?

1871
01:38:07,256 --> 01:38:08,299
Are you okay?

1872
01:38:08,507 --> 01:38:11,010
I'm fine. That was awesome.
You fucking decked him!

1873
01:38:11,218 --> 01:38:13,512
I've dealt with handsy
assholes like him at work.

1874
01:38:13,763 --> 01:38:15,014
Let's just get out of here.

1875
01:38:15,222 --> 01:38:17,016
Thanks for the backup.
Why the counting?

1876
01:38:17,224 --> 01:38:19,435
If you're gonna punch someone,
punch them on one.

1877
01:38:19,644 --> 01:38:21,020
Well, David told me to count.

1878
01:38:21,228 --> 01:38:23,481
David? David hasn't punched
anybody ever.

1879
01:38:28,319 --> 01:38:30,237
I think this Way. Exit.

1880
01:38:31,030 --> 01:38:33,949
[HUMS FANFARE]

1881
01:38:34,116 --> 01:38:36,661
I have returned.

1882
01:38:36,827 --> 01:38:38,371
[CONTINUES FANFARE]

1883
01:38:38,537 --> 01:38:40,790
Ha-ha-ha. So here's what happened, okay?

1884
01:38:40,956 --> 01:38:46,128
I'm out on the open road, just by myself, right?
And I'm just beelining it to a huge payday.

1885
01:38:46,295 --> 01:38:48,673
And I start to realize something:
it's boring in here.

1886
01:38:48,839 --> 01:38:50,759
So I thought,
"You know what you gotta do, dummy?

1887
01:38:50,925 --> 01:38:54,512
You gotta turn this RV around
and go back and get those dip sticks."

1888
01:38:54,679 --> 01:38:57,932
Heh. I'm just kidding,
you're not dip sticks.

1889
01:38:58,099 --> 01:38:59,899
What do you say we go home?
Come on, let's go.

1890
01:39:00,059 --> 01:39:01,852
Hey, David? Go fuck yourself.

1891
01:39:02,478 --> 01:39:04,271
Uh...? Ha!

1892
01:39:04,897 --> 01:39:07,358
"Go fuck yourself."
"You go fuck yourself."

1893
01:39:07,525 --> 01:39:12,029
Rose, you say, "Go fuck yourself." Then
Kenny's like, "I don't want to fuck anybody."

1894
01:39:12,196 --> 01:39:15,282
This is what I miss, right?
The Ping-Pong action, the repartee.

1895
01:39:15,449 --> 01:39:19,704
Come on, guys. Let's get out of here, go home.
Get in the RV, go home, get out of here.

1896
01:39:19,870 --> 01:39:22,206
Come on, let's go!

1897
01:39:22,373 --> 01:39:25,126
- Whoa, hey, hold on. Where you going?
- Are you serious?

1898
01:39:25,292 --> 01:39:27,211
Look, look, look. Okay.

1899
01:39:27,378 --> 01:39:29,797
I know what this is about, and I get it.

1900
01:39:29,964 --> 01:39:33,008
All right?
We're gonna split the $500,000.

1901
01:39:33,175 --> 01:39:37,054
Evenly. Betwixt the four of us.

1902
01:39:37,430 --> 01:39:40,474
You guys get what I'm saying here?
Kenny, you wanna be like this: "Pfft!"

1903
01:39:40,641 --> 01:39:44,061
Like you're from... Right?
That's a lot of video games, kiddo.

1904
01:39:44,228 --> 01:39:47,648
All right, Casey, you can buy a house,
and run away from it.

1905
01:39:48,023 --> 01:39:50,526
You know what I mean? Like, whatever.
You get $125,000.

1906
01:39:50,693 --> 01:39:51,819
You get $125,000.

1907
01:39:51,986 --> 01:39:54,697
You get a... I mean, I'm like
fucking Oprah here. You know?

1908
01:39:54,864 --> 01:39:57,491
If she was a white dude at a carnival. Heh.

1909
01:39:57,658 --> 01:40:00,202
Come on, guys. Let's get in the RV...

1910
01:40:00,369 --> 01:40:03,998
and take our butts back to Denver where we're
gonna be rich and we're gonna get paid.

1911
01:40:04,165 --> 01:40:05,166
[HUMMING]

1912
01:40:05,332 --> 01:40:07,752
- Come on, come on.
- Uh, David, listen.

1913
01:40:07,960 --> 01:40:10,963
You misled us. You left us.

1914
01:40:11,130 --> 01:40:15,050
And then you come Waltzing back in here
all... I don't know what the hell that was...

1915
01:40:15,217 --> 01:40:17,678
and you just expect
that we all just forget about it.

1916
01:40:17,845 --> 01:40:20,556
What's wrong with you?

1917
01:40:21,390 --> 01:40:22,433
How do we trust you?

1918
01:40:24,477 --> 01:40:26,312
[GROANS]

1919
01:40:26,479 --> 01:40:29,398
Okay, look, what do you want?
Do you want me to beg?

1920
01:40:29,607 --> 01:40:31,150
Kids? What do you think?

1921
01:40:31,317 --> 01:40:34,028
- That would make me feel a lot better.
- Works for me. Sure.

1922
01:40:36,530 --> 01:40:38,115
You're joking.

1923
01:40:39,909 --> 01:40:41,035
Wha...?

1924
01:40:41,452 --> 01:40:44,580
You really want me to get on my knees?
And beg you?

1925
01:40:45,372 --> 01:40:47,212
It's a good thing I'm wearing
my begging pants.

1926
01:40:47,374 --> 01:40:49,543
I usually only do this before sex.

1927
01:40:51,086 --> 01:40:53,839
Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going.
Please, please.

1928
01:40:54,006 --> 01:40:56,967
Ahem. Let's do it. Here we go.

1929
01:40:57,134 --> 01:40:58,177
Okay! To the RV, let's go.

1930
01:40:58,552 --> 01:40:59,595
Come on, Babs.

1931
01:40:59,804 --> 01:41:01,388
[LAUGHS]

1932
01:41:02,973 --> 01:41:05,434
DAVID: Whoa, whoa. Slow down.
There's clowns everywhere.

1933
01:41:05,643 --> 01:41:06,811
Here, let Pops get in here.

1934
01:41:07,019 --> 01:41:09,271
We're right down here.
I parked it next to an RV.

1935
01:41:09,480 --> 01:41:12,024
[EDIE and MELISSA
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

1936
01:41:12,233 --> 01:41:13,984
[EDIE GASPS]

1937
01:41:14,193 --> 01:41:15,486
- Melissa.
- Kenny.

1938
01:41:15,694 --> 01:41:17,238
- Rose!
- Edie.

1939
01:41:17,446 --> 01:41:18,656
- Shit.
- Shit.

1940
01:41:18,864 --> 01:41:21,200
I never get used to that language.

1941
01:41:22,284 --> 01:41:26,163
What in the H-E-L-L
are you people doing here?

1942
01:41:26,497 --> 01:41:27,581
Uh... Uh, uh...

1943
01:41:27,790 --> 01:41:30,125
- We came to see the fireworks.
- Yeah. Fireworks.

1944
01:41:30,584 --> 01:41:34,797
Us too! That's so weird!
They're supposed to be amazing here.

1945
01:41:35,005 --> 01:41:36,423
- Melissa, can we talk?
- No.

1946
01:41:36,632 --> 01:41:38,384
- Mom, come on, let's go.
- Melissa!

1947
01:41:38,801 --> 01:41:40,886
Why are you being so rude?

1948
01:41:41,095 --> 01:41:43,681
Do you have your period?
Do you need a tampon?

1949
01:41:43,889 --> 01:41:46,892
Mom, I don't need a tampon.
I don't want to be near these people.

1950
01:41:47,101 --> 01:41:49,228
- Kenny. Let's go.
- We should get out of here.

1951
01:41:49,562 --> 01:41:52,481
- What happened last night was wrong.
- Oh, boy.

1952
01:41:52,690 --> 01:41:54,191
[GASPS]

1953
01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:55,985
Oh, my God, she knows.

1954
01:41:57,736 --> 01:41:59,780
My daughter knows what we've done.

1955
01:42:00,865 --> 01:42:04,034
Melissa, yes, it was wrong of me
to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts.

1956
01:42:04,660 --> 01:42:08,414
You're right. I'm not gonna deny that it
gave me a certain amount of pleasure.

1957
01:42:08,622 --> 01:42:13,711
That said, your father and I are struggling
with some serious intimacy issues.

1958
01:42:13,919 --> 01:42:15,045
Okay, no, stop!

1959
01:42:15,254 --> 01:42:16,755
I'm not as tight as I once was.

1960
01:42:16,964 --> 01:42:19,341
- Lookuu
- He just falls right out.

1961
01:42:19,550 --> 01:42:21,594
It's like throwing a hot dog
down a hallway.

1962
01:42:21,802 --> 01:42:23,971
Ew! What are you talking about?

1963
01:42:24,179 --> 01:42:28,475
I saw Kenny making outwith his sister
and mother while their dad watched.

1964
01:42:29,852 --> 01:42:31,395
What? Oh, my...!

1965
01:42:31,604 --> 01:42:34,732
- It wasn't quite like that.
- That's not exactly what happened.

1966
01:42:34,940 --> 01:42:37,860
Rose isn't my mom, she's not
my sister. We're not a real family.

1967
01:42:38,068 --> 01:42:40,195
ROSE: That's enough, son!
What are you saying?

1968
01:42:40,404 --> 01:42:43,449
He's been drinking. It's hard
to understand. He's being ridiculous.

1969
01:42:43,657 --> 01:42:46,327
David hired us to help him smuggle drugs
across the border.

1970
01:42:46,535 --> 01:42:47,995
You're drug dealers?

1971
01:42:48,412 --> 01:42:51,373
No! No, we're drug smugglers.
There's a difference.

1972
01:42:51,582 --> 01:42:53,167
There's not a difference.

1973
01:42:53,375 --> 01:42:56,128
Okay, Edie, we can explain, all right?

1974
01:42:56,337 --> 01:42:58,672
ROSE: This is a small misunderstanding.
It really is.

1975
01:42:58,881 --> 01:43:01,467
When he says "smuggle," he doesn't
know what he's saying.

1976
01:43:01,675 --> 01:43:03,928
- It's not drugs.
- He doesn't know what drugs are.

1977
01:43:04,136 --> 01:43:06,096
Seriously. It's just a little tequila.

1978
01:43:07,473 --> 01:43:08,641
What?

1979
01:43:08,849 --> 01:43:09,892
Oh, my God!

1980
01:43:10,100 --> 01:43:13,812
- Hey. Ah, thank God you're alive.
ROSE: He's got a gun!

1981
01:43:14,021 --> 01:43:16,190
Listen! Hey, hey, hey.
No, no! Wait, wait, wait!

1982
01:43:18,567 --> 01:43:20,527
[DON GRUNTS]

1983
01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:23,280
This is gonna be fun!

1984
01:43:24,531 --> 01:43:26,700
[GRUNTING]

1985
01:43:34,124 --> 01:43:35,417
[PANTING]

1986
01:43:35,626 --> 01:43:37,211
I still got it.

1987
01:43:37,419 --> 01:43:39,088
Don's a bad ass.

1988
01:43:39,797 --> 01:43:42,007
Oh, Don.

1989
01:43:43,884 --> 01:43:45,636
Melissa, go find a police officer.

1990
01:43:47,221 --> 01:43:48,806
Okay, Don. Don, listen to me.

1991
01:43:49,014 --> 01:43:51,392
No. Drug smuggling, David?

1992
01:43:51,600 --> 01:43:53,560
And to think of the moment we shared.

1993
01:43:53,769 --> 01:43:55,187
No, Don, there's another guy.

1994
01:43:55,729 --> 01:43:57,481
I don't want to hear about other men!

1995
01:43:58,107 --> 01:44:01,527
What? No! No, no! No! There's
another guy trying to kill us!

1996
01:44:01,735 --> 01:44:03,112
What? Who?

1997
01:44:03,320 --> 01:44:04,488
Pablo Chacon.

1998
01:44:05,114 --> 01:44:06,156
Pablo Chacon.

1999
01:44:06,365 --> 01:44:07,491
<i>Buenas noches, Millers.</i>

2000
01:44:07,700 --> 01:44:09,368
What is he saying?
What does that mean?

2001
01:44:09,576 --> 01:44:11,286
It's a familiar Mexican greeting.

2002
01:44:11,495 --> 01:44:14,623
You in the short jeans
and the funny mustache, give me the gun.

2003
01:44:15,916 --> 01:44:17,126
Melissa.

2004
01:44:19,920 --> 01:44:21,088
And the mug.

2005
01:44:24,091 --> 01:44:25,300
Please don't hurt her.

2006
01:44:26,176 --> 01:44:29,054
- Take her.
- Are you okay? It's okay.

2007
01:44:32,725 --> 01:44:33,934
Now the keys, please.

2008
01:44:34,476 --> 01:44:35,602
Here. Here, here, here.

2009
01:44:35,936 --> 01:44:39,148
Okay, great. You have your drugs,
so you don't have to kill us.

2010
01:44:39,356 --> 01:44:41,108
Oh, I don't have to kill you, huh?

2011
01:44:41,358 --> 01:44:42,401
You take my drugs.

2012
01:44:42,609 --> 01:44:45,571
You make me cross the border into
this fucked-up country.

2013
01:44:45,779 --> 01:44:47,906
You try to burn my face with steam!

2014
01:44:48,115 --> 01:44:50,409
- I'm sorry.
- You destroy my car!

2015
01:44:52,244 --> 01:44:55,998
And I don't like what you do to my man
every time we meet.

2016
01:44:58,333 --> 01:45:00,419
You are the worst family I've ever met.

2017
01:45:02,087 --> 01:45:04,256
But, you're right, I
don't have to kill you.

2018
01:45:06,800 --> 01:45:09,178
I want to kill you. All of you.

2019
01:45:09,553 --> 01:45:11,388
Stop. Stop.

2020
01:45:13,057 --> 01:45:15,934
Don't do this. Don't kill these people.

2021
01:45:17,019 --> 01:45:20,606
This is all my fault. I'm the one that
did this. I'm the drug dealer here.

2022
01:45:20,814 --> 01:45:22,149
This is an innocent family...

2023
01:45:22,357 --> 01:45:24,610
in the wrong place
at the wrong time. Okay?

2024
01:45:25,903 --> 01:45:27,196
And this kid?

2025
01:45:27,529 --> 01:45:30,657
This kid's got the biggest fucking heart
I've ever seen in my life.

2026
01:45:31,492 --> 01:45:33,118
And I'm lucky to call him a friend.

2027
01:45:33,452 --> 01:45:37,289
Man, an hour ago, I would have killed
this girl for you.

2028
01:45:37,498 --> 01:45:40,584
But she's tough as hell.
And a lot smarter than me.

2029
01:45:41,877 --> 01:45:43,170
And this one.

2030
01:45:44,755 --> 01:45:47,466
You. Sarah.

2031
01:45:48,509 --> 01:45:50,719
You're the strongest woman
I've ever met.

2032
01:45:50,928 --> 01:45:52,679
And you'd make a great mom.

2033
01:45:55,307 --> 01:45:56,850
I love all of them.

2034
01:45:58,936 --> 01:46:00,145
Don't kill them.

2035
01:46:00,729 --> 01:46:01,939
Please.

2036
01:46:03,107 --> 01:46:04,441
Just kill me.

2037
01:46:05,359 --> 01:46:07,820
- Tell you what, I'll make a deal, okay?
- Okay.

2038
01:46:08,028 --> 01:46:10,405
I kill you first so you don't
watch your family die.

2039
01:46:10,614 --> 01:46:12,449
[FIREWORKS POPPING]

2040
01:46:14,243 --> 01:46:16,453
[ALL SHOUTING]

2041
01:46:18,956 --> 01:46:20,624
[PABLO GROANS]

2042
01:46:21,500 --> 01:46:23,001
KENNY:
David.

2043
01:46:31,718 --> 01:46:33,554
MELISSA:
Kenny! That was amazing!

2044
01:46:40,352 --> 01:46:42,062
I'd like to think I taught him that.

2045
01:46:42,729 --> 01:46:45,315
MELISSA: Mm.
- I know I taught him that.

2046
01:46:47,109 --> 01:46:49,069
Put that tongue back in your mouth,
young man.

2047
01:46:50,863 --> 01:46:52,114
Oh.

2048
01:46:52,322 --> 01:46:54,158
Wow.

2049
01:46:54,366 --> 01:46:56,869
- You kiss a lot better than my sister.
- Hey!

2050
01:46:59,037 --> 01:47:00,330
- One, two, three.
- Mm-hm.

2051
01:47:09,715 --> 01:47:13,677
Well, Mr. Chacon, on behalf
of the United States of America...

2052
01:47:13,886 --> 01:47:15,929
I'd like to welcome you to our country.

2053
01:47:16,138 --> 01:47:17,514
Grab a seat.

2054
01:47:18,557 --> 01:47:20,934
Sorry you won't get to experience
the freedom part.

2055
01:47:21,310 --> 01:47:23,353
Don, you're my hero.

2056
01:47:23,770 --> 01:47:26,315
[BOTH MOANING]

2057
01:47:27,316 --> 01:47:29,151
I want you to use those zip ties tonight.

2058
01:47:29,359 --> 01:47:31,153
[DON GIGGLES]

2059
01:47:43,123 --> 01:47:44,166
Here.

2060
01:47:44,958 --> 01:47:46,251
Thank you, David.

2061
01:47:48,879 --> 01:47:51,173
- We're gonna go.
- Not so fast.

2062
01:47:51,381 --> 01:47:52,591
EDIE: Oh, no, Don.
MELISSA: Dad, please.

2063
01:47:52,799 --> 01:47:54,259
Girls, hush.

2064
01:47:57,054 --> 01:47:58,931
I believe that you are good people.

2065
01:47:59,139 --> 01:48:01,266
But you broke the law. All of you.

2066
01:48:01,558 --> 01:48:05,020
And worse than that, you put my wife
and daughter's lives in danger.

2067
01:48:05,562 --> 01:48:08,398
- Sorry.
- Gonna have to place you under arrest.

2068
01:48:08,607 --> 01:48:09,858
EDIE: Don, why?
MELISSA: No, Dad, don't.

2069
01:48:10,067 --> 01:48:11,526
DON:
And I'm gonna do just that...

2070
01:48:12,486 --> 01:48:14,363
right after I turn around...

2071
01:48:15,280 --> 01:48:16,573
and hug my family.

2072
01:48:29,169 --> 01:48:30,671
David, come on.

2073
01:48:38,470 --> 01:48:39,680
BRAD:
It's all here!

2074
01:48:40,097 --> 01:48:42,557
I am blown away, David. Great job.

2075
01:48:43,016 --> 01:48:45,143
But it's late.

2076
01:48:45,602 --> 01:48:48,522
Deadline was last night, so,
sorry, buddy, no deal.

2077
01:48:49,481 --> 01:48:52,484
Brad, I almost got killed
over this shit. Twice.

2078
01:48:52,693 --> 01:48:56,488
I'm not gonna be an asshole about this.
I got two tons of premium weed.

2079
01:48:56,822 --> 01:49:00,534
Yes! And you got Chacon
pinched in the process...

2080
01:49:00,742 --> 01:49:03,829
- which is a huge win for team Brad.
- Mm-hm.

2081
01:49:04,037 --> 01:49:07,165
So how about we shake hands
and call it even.

2082
01:49:07,374 --> 01:49:08,625
[SCOFFS]

2083
01:49:09,918 --> 01:49:13,797
- You were never gonna pay me, were you?
- Oh! Bingo. Heh-heh.

2084
01:49:15,132 --> 01:49:17,342
Was that a dick move?
I can't even tell anymore.

2085
01:49:18,427 --> 01:49:20,429
[ALL SHOUTING]

2086
01:49:20,637 --> 01:49:22,389
AGENT 1: Move!
AGENT 2: Go! Go! Go!

2087
01:49:23,223 --> 01:49:24,266
DEA!

2088
01:49:25,183 --> 01:49:27,394
- Down, down, down!
AGENT 3: Get on the ground! Freeze!

2089
01:49:29,563 --> 01:49:31,023
Clear!

2090
01:49:33,317 --> 01:49:34,484
You double-crossed me.

2091
01:49:34,818 --> 01:49:36,361
Kind of a dick move, right?

2092
01:49:37,446 --> 01:49:38,989
BRAD:
You got nothing on me!

2093
01:49:39,281 --> 01:49:40,699
Nothing at all.

2094
01:49:41,700 --> 01:49:44,244
Oh, shit! Look at this guy.

2095
01:49:44,453 --> 01:49:46,330
Who let in 50 Cent?

2096
01:49:47,914 --> 01:49:50,083
- Nice work, David.
- Thank you, Don.

2097
01:49:50,292 --> 01:49:52,336
Now, I know you don't get your money...

2098
01:49:52,544 --> 01:49:55,672
but doing the right thing
had to feel a whole lot better.

2099
01:49:56,089 --> 01:49:57,466
No.

2100
01:49:58,091 --> 01:49:59,426
All right, maybe a little bit.

2101
01:49:59,634 --> 01:50:04,097
As promised, in exchange for your
testimony against Chacon and Gurdlinger...

2102
01:50:04,306 --> 01:50:07,559
we have to keep you in witness
protection for three to six months.

2103
01:50:07,768 --> 01:50:10,187
- Just me?
- Just you.

2104
01:50:12,773 --> 01:50:16,651
Oh. And any other witnesses to the crime.

2105
01:50:21,114 --> 01:50:23,033
[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]

2106
01:50:27,496 --> 01:50:29,247
DAVID [ON COMPUTER]: <i>There</i> you are.
ROSE: <i>I</i> don't care.

2107
01:50:29,456 --> 01:50:31,496
- Look at this hot nerd.
DAVID: <i>Rub</i> some din' on it.

2108
01:50:31,666 --> 01:50:33,168
- What are you doing?
- Look at this.

2109
01:50:33,377 --> 01:50:35,170
[CHATTERING OVER COMPUTER]

2110
01:50:35,379 --> 01:50:39,216
You gotta tell Casey to stop posting this
stuff. It's already got a million hits...

2111
01:50:39,549 --> 01:50:40,759
and growing.

2112
01:50:40,967 --> 01:50:43,929
Okay, okay, I'll tell her after lunch.
Oof, you know what else?

2113
01:50:44,137 --> 01:50:45,680
I can see down your tank top.

2114
01:50:52,437 --> 01:50:53,522
DAN: Hey there.
- Hey.

2115
01:50:53,730 --> 01:50:56,817
- Wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Dan.
- Hey, Dan.

2116
01:50:57,025 --> 01:50:58,860
My wife, Kathy. We just moved in.

2117
01:50:59,319 --> 01:51:00,695
DAVID: Hello.
- We're the Johnsons.

2118
01:51:00,904 --> 01:51:02,989
Oh, great. Welcome to the neighborhood.

2119
01:51:03,448 --> 01:51:04,950
Hey, guys. Come here.

2120
01:51:05,158 --> 01:51:06,284
Come meet our neighbors.

2121
01:51:06,493 --> 01:51:07,536
I'm David.

2122
01:51:07,911 --> 01:51:09,871
And this is my family right here.

2123
01:51:10,038 --> 01:51:11,289
This is my son, Kenny.

2124
01:51:11,456 --> 01:51:12,624
My daughter, Casey.

2125
01:51:12,791 --> 01:51:15,335
- And this is my wife, Sarah.
- Nice to meet you.

2126
01:51:15,502 --> 01:51:18,046
- We're the Millers.
DAN: Ah. Pleasure.

2127
01:51:18,213 --> 01:51:20,549
Thanks for saying hi.
All right, take care now.

2128
01:51:20,715 --> 01:51:22,592
KATHY: See you soon. Bye.
- Bye.

2129
01:51:22,926 --> 01:51:25,166
ROSE: I don't like them.
DAVID: I don't like them either.

2130
01:51:25,303 --> 01:51:27,722
Why introduce yourself?
I mean, who the fuck are you?

2131
01:51:27,889 --> 01:51:30,892
ROSE: I can't believe this.
We're stuck in the suburbs.

2132
01:51:31,059 --> 01:51:35,021
DAVID: Now, this sucks. I can't wait for the
trial to be over. Gotta get outta here.

2133
01:51:40,402 --> 01:51:41,445
Stick to the big A.

2134
01:51:41,611 --> 01:51:43,155
- Anal.
- Abstinence, you meant.

2135
01:51:43,321 --> 01:51:45,115
- Neither makes a baby.
- He confuses...

2136
01:51:45,282 --> 01:51:47,951
Oscars! For all of you!

2137
01:51:48,118 --> 01:51:51,121
That's very nice of you, but we're
not that good of an actor, no.

2138
01:51:52,622 --> 01:51:53,874
[CREW LAUGHING]

2139
01:51:54,583 --> 01:51:56,877
- Those guys are picking on that girl.
- Where?

2140
01:51:57,043 --> 01:51:58,795
[KENNY LAUGHING]

2141
01:51:59,504 --> 01:52:01,548
<i>- I'll</i> never forget these moments.
- What?

2142
01:52:01,715 --> 01:52:04,217
- And I hope you don't either.
- Ha-ha-ha.

2143
01:52:04,634 --> 01:52:05,886
MAN:
And, action.

2144
01:52:08,054 --> 01:52:09,973
It takes two men to open this
mini-fridge.

2145
01:52:10,515 --> 01:52:12,559
Aah!

2146
01:52:12,726 --> 01:52:16,605
It's literally so hard!

2147
01:52:17,814 --> 01:52:20,095
- Okay, you guys, seriously, you're mak...
CREW: Ha-ha-ha!

2148
01:52:20,442 --> 01:52:21,485
MAN:
Look, look, look.

2149
01:52:22,944 --> 01:52:24,779
- Ha, ha!
- Leave the girls alone.

2150
01:52:24,946 --> 01:52:28,074
What are you gonna do, freckles?
What are you gonna do, Don Knotts?

2151
01:52:28,241 --> 01:52:30,327
What are you gonna do,
guy with great posture?

2152
01:52:31,036 --> 01:52:32,454
[GRUNTS]

2153
01:52:32,621 --> 01:52:34,789
SCOTTIE:
Ow! Broke my nose!

2154
01:52:35,165 --> 01:52:37,417
I'm terrified of blood,
you know what I'm saying?

2155
01:52:37,751 --> 01:52:40,670
You just deviated my septum,
you know what I'm saying?

2156
01:52:40,837 --> 01:52:44,299
Uh, I want a Band-Aid.

2157
01:52:45,675 --> 01:52:47,761
ROSE: Closed?
- They're closed. Till morning.

2158
01:52:47,928 --> 01:52:50,388
Oklahoma.
Oh, poop.

2159
01:52:50,555 --> 01:52:52,641
Cheese and rice.
Ants on a log.

2160
01:52:52,807 --> 01:52:55,101
Poop on a Popsicle.
Oh, cock marbles.

2161
01:52:55,268 --> 01:52:58,146
- Oh, fuck.
ROSE: Ha-ha-ha.

2162
01:52:58,813 --> 01:53:00,315
[GRUNTING]

2163
01:53:07,989 --> 01:53:09,658
[BOTH GIGGLING]

2164
01:53:09,824 --> 01:53:11,660
[CREW LAUGHING]

2165
01:53:12,786 --> 01:53:15,455
It just stopped at a certain point...

2166
01:53:15,622 --> 01:53:18,041
and you just couldn't
insert it any more.

2167
01:53:18,208 --> 01:53:21,378
Well, I just looked like I had,
like, a Storm trooper dick.

2168
01:53:21,545 --> 01:53:24,256
[ALL LAUGHING]

2169
01:53:24,798 --> 01:53:27,842
So I'm just gonna-There we go.
There they are.

2170
01:53:28,009 --> 01:53:29,094
This is crazy.

2171
01:53:29,261 --> 01:53:32,347
Those are just gorgeous, gorgeous,
gorgeous breasts.

2172
01:53:33,682 --> 01:53:34,724
[SNORTS]

2173
01:53:34,891 --> 01:53:36,560
MAN 1:
Cut! All right. Cut.

2174
01:53:37,185 --> 01:53:38,937
MAN 2: And, action.
- Whoo!

2175
01:53:39,104 --> 01:53:41,982
- How about a little victory music, shall we?
- Yes, please.

2176
01:53:42,691 --> 01:53:44,985
[THE REMBRANDTS' "I'LL BE THERE
FOR YOU" PLAYING ON RADIO]

2177
01:53:45,151 --> 01:53:46,820
- I love this song!
- This is awesome!

2178
01:53:47,112 --> 01:53:48,405
[DAVID WHOOPS]

2179
01:53:50,365 --> 01:53:55,120
<i>[SINGING] You're job's</i> a <i>joke, you're broke
Your love life 's D.O.A.</i>

2180
01:53:55,287 --> 01:53:58,290
<i>I'll be there for you</i>

2181
01:53:58,456 --> 01:53:59,958
<i>When the rain starts to fall</i>

2182
01:54:00,125 --> 01:54:03,295
<i>I'll be there for you</i>

2183
01:54:03,461 --> 01:54:06,006
<i>'Cause you're there for me too</i>

2184
01:54:06,172 --> 01:54:08,508
That was really good.

2185
01:54:08,675 --> 01:54:10,260
[ALL LAUGHING]

2186
01:54:10,427 --> 01:54:12,679
That's very funny.

2187
01:58:23,179 --> 01:58:25,181
<i>ONE-EYE:
AdYos, Millers.</i>